Finding Joy in the Small Things in Life

Look at how rapidly the time passes! (My neglect for this blog is certainly showing :)

Anyway, I had the deep joy of being able to preach on "Contentment" recently, which surprisingly is something the Church skirts around (...in favour of a Prosperity-laden message in some quarters).

That message will be up here soon, but it is long...even by my standards. Sadly, what you're forced to cram into 40 minutes using the 'gift of gab', turns into quite a long transcript when finally penned down. But I must admit, the message is beautiful.

Instead, on this tour, I'll give you one analogy of life that, unfortunately, I had to delete from my sermon (time constraints!)

...So, I was in my bathroom the other morning getting ready to wash my face; then, on the glistening sink surface, I spotted this little ant. [seems everything from humidity to rain to wintry cold occasionally brings some ants into anyone's life]. That little ant was perched next to a drop of water, and he was literally cleaning himself so meticulously, just sprucing himself up - Antennae, Legs, Body.
Like a good episode of the Discovery Channel's shows (minus the "Peeping-Tom" factor), I watched this intently for about 3 minutes...

I bet everyone has one of those moments when you come face-to-face with the Creator through something on this earth. I'm more impressed when it comes through the simple things - the kind money could never ever buy.

I imagined for a second where a situation similar to this could have played out, and my mind just set on Jesus as He told His disciples not to worry. In the midst of blessing His followers with this message, His mind (and probably His gaze) was transfixed by the wild Lilies of the field, and He noted that those lilies in their mere simplicity were more marvelously clothed than great King Solomon could ever have dreamed. [And who better to know this than Jesus, since this whole world was created through Him]

I have something of a love/hate relationship when it comes to grass and/or wild herbs. When I took my Plant Taxonomy class, classifying and identifying massive trees was hard enough. But Dr. David Foster - good friend and upright individual as he was - always knew what would draw a protest from me in particular:

"...today, let's study and classify some grass..."

For someone who, despite having an Agricultural Consultant for a father, remained practically disinterested in plant life, it was beyond difficult. God (sadistically) had placed so much detail into "mere grass" such that to differentiate it I literally had to be armed with a magnifying glass in my hand, and the added Patience of a Saint.

So, yes, Jesus example of the Lilies is definitely not lost on me; and neither is another thing - looking at that ant that morning, it reminded me that if God can put that much thought, detail, beauty into the small unnoticeable things of this world...THEN WHAT MORE WILL HE DO FOR HIS OWN CHILDREN?

Take home message: Be content!
To put a new spin on a cliche, "God is in the details".

Most of the time, we're probably hoping He moves a mountain just so we know He's around, but I'm happier knowing that

"...He knows my name, He knows my every thought, He sees each tear that falls, and He hears me when I call."

Thank you for everything Father! For making everything beautiful in its time, and placing Eternity within our hearts. May we inch closer towards beginning to understand.

Tending to the long overdue

I took a trip out into the city yesterday and finally did something that was seriously long overdue: I tracked down the local Catholic Church here in Wenzhou.

Don't get me wrong - it's not like I've been a heathen all this time. I'm part of a local church we medical students put together, and, despite my introvert nature, I get to drop a sermon every semester in front of the congregation.

But going down to the Catholic Church was something long overdue. Let's just put it down to laziness [because I'd actually sighted the church once 2 years ago when a rather crazy taxi driver - a lady no less - cut through the city in a bid to get us to our destination as quickly as possible; (sanity intact optional)]. So I actually knew it was there. Shamefully, on my last trip to Shanghai, I only spent 3 days in the city, and would you believe I managed to track down and pray in that Catholic Church on my way back to the medical school.

Someone would wonder what the fuss is about a little ol' church - "a (Christian)church is a church after all, right?"
In some ways that is true, but personally, the Catholic church is one of my touchstones no matter where I am. I remember back in 2002 when I was in Grantham, Pennsylvania at Messiah College, and my first visit to the Elizabeth Ann Seton Church helped clear the bout of homesickness that I was feeling.

The things which put some people off about Catholic churches just seem to draw me closer:
1. The well established liturgical tradition, which is practically the same no matter which part of the world you'll find yourself in.
2. There's something about the ornate decoration, the quiet pace of things and the traditional structure that reaches out to the melancholic in me [...the pull was even stronger after my break-up in 2006, and if ever there was a time I seriously considered joining the priesthood, it was then.]
3. The chance of maybe catching a Latin mass; I loved them, but it's probably been 8 years since I've taken part in one. I sorely miss them.

I've seriously been needing a touchstone in my life lately. I'm feeling like that line in the Goo goo Dolls Song "...bleeding just to know that I'm alive".
And I'm glad to say that doing a long neglected duty helps bring the spark back to the ordinary mundane life.

Thank God for finding contentment in the "small victories" in life.

A Good Death/The Benefits of the Cross

(My sermon from Easter Sunday '09 delivered to the Wenzhou Medical College Christian Fellowship)

Hymn: How deep the Father's love for us by Stuart Townsend

How deep the Father's love for us,
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice,
Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom
(REPEAT)

I’d like to thank you all for this opportunity that you have given me to address this congregation on this very special occasion. In case you may not have noticed it, I was privileged to address you during Christmas, and now during Easter; so I guess the experience has come full-circle because I get to speak during the commemoration of Christ’s Birth and Death/Resurrection.

In the Christian Church, two seasons in particular are the most celebrated: Advent, which culminates with Christmas, and Lent, which culminates with the Holy Week. The reason for this is that these two seasons in particular are the fulfillment of God’s promise of redeeming humanity by restoring that bond (between God and humanity) that was damaged by sin.
The sermon today principally addresses the notion of “A Good Death”, and for some it seems like I’m taking a step back. In some Christian traditions, Lent is a really somber reflective period during which the “alleluia” and “Gloria” tend to be omitted from the services, and, in particular, Good Friday, is a day when (in the Catholic tradition) the Church is left dark, and people retreat, only to return for the Candle light vigil on Saturday night, and rejoicing breaks out on the morn of Easter Sunday (Resurrection Sunday) replete with chants of “Gloria” and “Alleluia”.

So, it seems like I’m taking people back a step by focusing on “Death” at this point, so please bear with me (the message is just as pertinent).

In celebrating Christ’s Death, one issue in particular usually trips up a lot of individuals: Christ’s choice of last words. “My God, My God, Why have you forsaken me?
Depending on which of the Gospels you read (Matt 27:45-46; Mark 15:34;
Luke 23:46; John 19:30), His last words can either be,

a) “My God, My God, Why have you forsaken me?”
b) “Father, into your hands I commend my spirit”
c) “It is finished”

It would not be too far-fetched to imagine that He actually did say all of these things before He passed away; the problem appears to be the various ways in which people interpret this one statement (“My God, My God…). Concerning this issue, I have heard the following explanations

i) Jesus was delirious with pain, hence in deep agony He blurted out this answer
ii) Jesus felt abandoned by God
iii) God had actually abandoned Jesus because the Son was covered with our infirmities and God abhors sin. (Ref: 2 Cor. 5:21; Hab. 1:13; 1 Pet. 2:24.)

I have a different view, which becomes clearer once you examine the notion of “A Good Death”

In defining A Good Death, I think Christ came pretty close when, in John 15:13, He talks of a person laying down his life for his friends as a great act of love. On a personal note, this is my definition of the best of deaths:

To die peacefully in one’s bed, surrounded by the ones you love, having made peace with God and fellowmen (…and ideally, parents should be buried by their children)

From the start, my notion of death seems is at odds with Christ’s death, because in His particular case His mother witnessed His suffering, and eventually laid Him to rest. However, from the prophecy of Simeon in Luke 2:35 (“…a sword will pierce your heart…”), I think it’s safe to say that His mother knew, especially towards the end, that her son’s own death would precede hers. In contrast to this, I will also give you my definition of a bad death:

To be walking down the street, and getting tragically run over as you cross the road. Barely a moment for your life to even flash before your eyes, and no chance to say goodbye to anyone or put your affairs in order

I think every person on this earth would at least want to have Dismas’ chance of earning some last minute salvation (Luke 23:39-43). I am basing this on two very important aspects of what impending Death means for our lives.

1. Clarity of mind
Death forces you to come to terms with what’s important in your life. I recall once as a college student, a situation in which I rode my bicycle and slammed face-first into a brick wall. In the space of time that it took me to pick myself up, clean my wounds and rush to the clinic for a check-up (roughly 5 minutes), I noticed that the vision in my right eye was severely affected (akin to a fuzzy TV screen).

In that moment when I realized that something that I usually take for granted was gone, everything else faded in importance. My clarity in the situation was perfect: that which I was about to lose was worth more to me than anything else I ever hoped to gain. At that point I just had to negotiate with God, and I believe I just might have promised Him the world so long as I did not permanently lose the use of my right eye.

Suffice it to say, I recovered the use of my eye after (A LONG!) seven or so extra minutes, and my eyesight is unaffected. I’m sure you can appreciate the parallel between this situation and that of impending Death…only with Death, it is starkly more serious. Then you learn, or are forced to come to terms with those things that matter most in this life. Knowing that “…Man is fated to die once and the face judgment…” (Hebrews 9:27), you will reflect on all the wise sayings laid out in the book of Proverbs and a myriad more laws contained in the Bible. But principally, I think you would remember the Greatest Commandment – To Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength, and your neighbour as love yourself yourself (Mark 12:32-33)”

Hence, you have to be at peace with God, and to be at peace with God you also have to be at peace with your fellowmen, especially those whom “the fingerprint” of your life directly affects.

2. Making peace with God & fellowmen.
In the typical model of a parent ideally being buried by his/her children, my mind is directed toward that time in most College-aged students’ lives when, having left home for the first time, their parents (and elders) load them with knowledge in terms of typical parental/family requests. These usually go beyond the typical “study hard”, “avoid mischief”, “keep good company” type of advice, and delve into other issues like
 “the type of tribal affiliation of which they are forbidden from bringing back home as a fiancé/fiancée."
 “the distinct vocation that they are supposed to undertake in College” (usually based on the fact that the family is renowned for producing generations of doctors,lawyers,etc... and so like it or not, you too must be a ...”
 “the type of things that you must attain for the family once you start to work”, etc.

As relates to parents, God laid out a specific commandment (No.5) emphasizing how children are meant to honor them. Deut 5:16 spells this same law out with a promise of longevity for the children. However, when you get down to tracts like Col 3:18-21 & Eph 6:1-4, you can see that God also expects the parents to treat their children in such a way that they will not end up frustrated. So, impending death safely sweeps away all the accessory requests and things are distilled to the bare minimum.

In also remembering that Jesus Himself warned us that God would judge us for every careless word that we utter (Matt 12:36), the words from a dying person are weighed more importantly. In my own view, the words of a dying person can be measured in Gold.

So, with these two issues in mind (Clarity of mind, making peace with God & Fellowmen), we still have to address the issue of Christ’s words (“My God, My God…).
One very important thing we must remember is that any words that our Lord uttered are steeped in the “shared experience” of His society. We would tend to lose the meaning when we decontextualize things; literally, we ought to best understand them in terms of “shared experience”.

Borrowing a lesson from my “communication’” classes in college, I remember that it was estimated that as much as 75% of our interpersonal communication could consist of non-verbal cues. What I find, especially the closer our relationships are, is that even within the minor portion expressed through language, there is a point at which we can anticipate each other’s responses; hence, we can deduce entire meanings by merely being given either the beginning or ending of certain phrases.
For example:
“God is good…” in certain circles immediately evokes the response “…all the time”
“The Lord is my shepherd…”
“To everything there is a time, and a season for every activity under the sun.”
“I have a dream...” Ideally this can be ambiguous, but once someone hears the long drawn out Bishop-type overtones used to convey these words, then they are immediately associated with Martin Luther King jr.
“Our Father…”
In our particular fellowship, hearing the cue “Surely…” immediately evokes the response "…goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life…” (Psalm 23:6)

One example of personal significance comes from my past. In slightly less than 2 months, I will celebrate the 10th anniversary since my father passed away. My family consists of five children (3 elder siblings and a twin brother). However, during my father’s last days, my 3 elder siblings were abroad; hence, it was only my mother, a close family friend, my twin brother and I, who were around to hear my father give his last true testament a few days before he passed away. He had brief specific advice for each of us, but when he got to me, the 4th child, he paused a bit longer than usual. My mother prodded him twice with the question: “What advice do you have for Opiyo?”

At last his answer was thus: “Opiyo, Open up!”

My legacy from my father is in reality a mere 2 words long!
However, because I knew my father, and he knew me, I know exactly what he meant, and it honestly is a hard task trying to fulfill this mission till this day because it carried a lot of depth.

With this guiding notion of “shared experience”, to understand Christ’s words on that day, we ought best to understand what His “shared experience” was. We could of course base it in His Jewish roots, or the small town of Nazareth where He grew up; but, in light of His importance as “the word” (John 1:1), an ideal shared experience of Christ is actually a firm understanding of the Bible because it all points to Him.

There is a sentiment that we start to see in the Bible as early as the Book of Joshua (Joshua 1:8), where Joshua is advised to meditate on the Law (day and night). By the time we get to Jeremiah (Jer 31:31-34), this sentiment has changed somewhat, and it is carried in this very form into the New Testament (Roman 2:12-15; Heb 8:10; Heb 10:16): the law is written on their hearts.

The Bible’s message is most potent when it infuses our very being – when it becomes one with our heart, soul and mind. Such an issue perturbed Jesus concerning the Pharisees because they revered the very Word that alluded to Him, but did not understand the Word well enough to practice it in its entirety.
Suffice it to say, if we understand the Word, we understand Him (Jesus). We also need to reflect on the fact that some of the things Christ did were specifically for our benefit and not His; being of one being with the Father, He knew exactly what the Father desired (John 11:41-42); the manifestations were principally for the benefit of our disbelieving hearts.

With this in mind, we can now look to the Bible for specific precedents with regards to Christ’s words, and surprisingly, they are the first line of David’s lament in Psalm 22. The “lament” is a unique stylistic device that may not exactly be familiar to most people. Though, in the course of life’s hardships we usually question whether God sees our suffering, this does not mean that we mistrust Him or have despaired. Reading the whole of Psalm 22 (lengthy as it is) should convince anyone that these are not the writings of someone in despair. If anything, this person (David) still persists in his faith despite being openly mocked for it (Verse 9).

This sense of victory and trust in God is clearest in the last third of this Psalm (Verse 22-31), and the last words in verse 31 (“…for he has done it.”) sound exactly like “It is finished” (John 19:30). Notice also that the whole incident plays out just as Christ’s Passion, so finally we see that there was nothing random about the choice of this Psalm.

And I believe that this is the most perfect translation of Christ’s words. There was no despair in Him despite how bad things were. "It was His love that held Him there…” as the song says. Even as He lay dying, knowing how distraught and frightened it would make His followers, there He still is giving us hope. Ideally, Christ could have quoted a lot more benign sounding things in His last words; He could have used the more user-friendly Psalm 23 or Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 (of a poetic quality widely approved by Christian & non-Christians alike). But just as I experienced with my own father, even with a drastic economy of words, you can convey the deepest of meanings to those whom you’re intimately associated with.

And this is what A Good Death comes down to: HOPE. In 1 Peter 3:15, St. Peter wrote that we should always be ready to give an answer as to the reason for the hope that we have. In dying, as everything becomes truly clear, we are forced to answer this question. In my father’s last testament, he let me know that he knew where he was going, and this fulfilled my hope for him; and, in his confidence, he spelled out his hopes for me, and what was necessarily for my life.
Hope shared, hope building upon hope, my father’s hope in his destiny reassuring my own hope for his destiny, and his hopes for my life passed down to me such that despite his absence, there is still continuity.

This is the same thing that happened with our Lord. There is no ambiguity in His words, there is no despair, and there is no weakness. He is simply giving us Hope (as He always has), and that is why this was A Good Death.

Not one to end on a somber note, I’ll also give you the Benefits of the Cross portion of this sermon.



*You know what God will do for you, how far He’ll actually go.

In my last sermon, I mentioned that the ways of this world play out like a game of chess: the King is protected at all costs, and everybody else can be sacrificed first (the lower the status, the more likely the quicker you’ll be sacrificed - pawns).
This is probably why Christ’s death troubled people so much that they had to come up with ways of explaining it. Two very unique heresies arose because of this: one asserts that Christ was not fully human, implying He did not bear as much pain as we would expect on that cross; the other suggests that God cast the image of Jesus on a certain traitor, and it was in fact this man who was crucified while Jesus was safely spirited away (Ref: The Gospel of Barnabbas).
These heresies are probably meant to soothe the soul, but inadvertently they commit the same mistake as St. Peter in Matt 16:23 when he put the things of men above those of God. The reality is that our King died for us, for the not-so-bad to the most wretched ones among us. Truly, the Father’s Love for us RUNS DEEP.



*I once read someone’s Facebook status and the message put up was:
“Back home life is hard right now; that’s how you know history is being made”

Bringing us to yet another truth: we are more likely to reflect on God’s true power when the illusion of grandeur and control is stripped away. In those moments when we are truly broken, when hope is at an end, when we just can’t go on, then, as St. Paul proclaimed, “…God’s power is made perfect in our weakness.” (2 Cor 12:9)
And when we do realize how powerful He really is, then we understand that He is not limited by circumstance. After all, who else could elevate such a notorious torture tool as the cross into such a revered symbol for believers the world over?



*Finally, I would like to reflect on Ephesians 2:10
“We are God’s creation, created in Christ to do good works that He prepared in advance for us to do”

In a prelude to the sermon, Oliver (Bennet) talked about God’s aim to Re-concile and Re-connect us to Him; to basically Re-generate us. And in my reading of this verse, I have always understood that it spoke of the original unspoiled plan; that God always meant for us to do these good works, and as soon as we strayed from the path, He always intended to bring us back, and He set this work of salvation into play. Hence, none of this is random. The God who made us from nothing cares for each one of us and He desires for us to be with Him, and He acts upon that.

In relation to this, and in closing, I reflect upon my very first chapel at (Daystar) University. While we the students sat there, naïve as ever, the Chaplain laid depressing words upon our hearts in his opening speech:

“Every system in this world will fail you!”

He then went on to expound on how every system that we rely on in this world (parents, friends, finance, etc) would one day fail us. But at the end, he brought things full circle and he completed his opening statement:

“Every system in this world will fail you….BUT THE LORD WILL NEVER FAIL YOU!”

I wish you all a happy Easter, and hope the joy and clarity of mind that this season bring will never be far from your heart. May the Lord bless you and keep you.
Amen.

The Voice of the Defeated

Man, I know things are bad when someone's gotta remind me that I haven't placed a blog entry in a while. So, for the love of all things deep, here's my thought for the moment.

(Interesting thing happened since I last blogged...Seems my college has wisened up to the idea of blogging, so I no longer have to do this via proxy. What a welcome change!)

My prayers go out to all the people who were affected by the recent Gaza strip incident involving the Israelis and the Palestinians. It's going to take quite a lot to fix that situation, especially way more than George Bush (jr) - the person who once had enough power to spearhead the effort - ever put in.

Listening to Sarah Palin during the run up to the election, I just heard the reiteration of George Bush's position on the whole state of Mid East affairs:

"We (and Israel) are the good guys and the rest are bad guys."

Not exactly the conciliatory tone needed in this situation. Then recently during Obama's tour of Israel he of course stated that he wouldn't feel at ease if rockets were falling within earshot of his family's house, and he would of course try to keep them safe.

Snapshots aside, Obama's sentiments are universal. It is not merely an Israeli or American position to want to keep one's family safe; it is also a Palestinian position....ultimately, a human attribute. Therefore, with each victim racked up on either side, whether considered "collateral damage" or "terrorist-attack victim", the same human emotions are evoked: grief and anger. Given no rational level-headed outlets, you can pretty much expect radical alternatives as a means to settle the situation.

Another snapshot here: I'm reminded of an Introductory Bible class that I sat through in College, when one Prof. suggested that

"Christians are descendants of Abraham - through Isaac - just as the Israelis are; hence, we should side with Israel in what they do."

OK, I may have been attending a Christian College,....but come on! Immediately my critical thinking forced me to go over anything I learnt in that class (and any other religious classes) with the utmost scrutiny. People just get lazy when it comes to religion. No wonder it had that "opiate of the masses" label tagged to it.

Judging from history, everyone knows that the Israelis have had it very very rough. The holocaust and all other shames that they've been forced to live through are an embarrassment to humanity. But, luckily I'd say, at least the world recognizes that injustice; it is declared worldwide in the history books for the most part (in some countries it's even a punishable offence to deny the holocaust), and I believe some compensation has even been paid out. This is a mere token of course, never making up for even an iota of what happened...but my point is that this sin against humanity did not go unrecognized.

But there are more sins out there that are still not recognized. My mind flashes back to a Facebook debate I had with one American on a totally unrelated topic.
(Despite being Christian, I don't hesitate to hold Non-Christians, particularly Gandhi & Confucius, in the highest of regard for many of their views which sounding very Christian in their tone reflect that humanity is not totally-depraved.)
Anyway, my counterpart tore into Gandhi, blaming him for the tensions between India and Pakistan, and painted him as a "thorn in the side" of the British, what with all their plans to improve the standard of living in India.

I was shocked to say the least. If my counterpart had been more of a radical, he might have called Gandhi a terrorist. From my experience with people who've experienced Colonialism in all its glory, which is the vast proportion of this world, I know Gandhi is lauded as a peacemaker. But, the vast majority of this world only speaks with "the voice of one defeated"; one who has been put to shame. These people do not write the history books - the Victors do.

That's why the Aborigines in Australia had to wait till last year (2008) to get an apology for all the wrongs that were wrought on them; Nelson Mandela, proudly described as a terrorist by Margaret Thatcher, only got taken off the USA's terrorism list late last year. That man whom the world respects, imprisoned for dealing with an unjust system (an unjust system which the British had no qualms about supporting), and for the longest time he's still considered a terrorist.

And for me the injustice still lives on; to be born only one generation after colonialism ended in my country, to have relatives who lived through it and its injustices, still having to live with colonialism in some ways because the tools have changed ("Economics" vs. yesteryears "Brute Force")...only for an American student & his history professor to glorify a moment when my countrymen were put to shame.

That is the voice of the defeated.

Now, let's reflect back to the Palestinians. Land issues have always been a big problem, particularly when it comes to this colonialism issue. Some wars in Africa concerning lands (even now in the 21st century) trace their roots to the manner in which the African continent was partitioned. Lord knows shortly after independence that wars fought in the name of re-unifying lands lost to other countries could have taken a dastardly toll on the continent, but somehow the situation did not explode.

Back to the Palestinians and their land issue. The Zionist movement to restore the Jews to their homeland, which was colonized by the British, was effectively a one-sided affair. People in power felt it had to be done, and that homeland was established, neglecting the fact that the Israelis had been gone for so long, scattered so far and wide, that the people who were brought back were practically "alien" to the Palestinians among whom they were meant to be settled.
And to go from that, to the current state of affairs where Israel calls the shots in the region, and the Palestinians are basically a bunch of refugees who have to beg the rest of the world so that they can establish a country of their own is a particularly saddening affair. And it all happened as the world looked on.

This is why thus far, Americans, the people the world looks upon to fix this whole mess, have barely been able to do anything, especially lately. They do not understand the Language of the defeated. Personally, as I rue in my state of defeat, I'm more likely to retreat into my shell and recite the last line of Psalm 137 for my enemies - Happy are those who seize your children and smash them against a rock. But the people of the Middle East, particularly the radicals, deal with things in a totally different way...the kind that goes boom!

I look up to Mr. Obama to fix this situation, because judging from his collective past, he more than any recent American leader understand what it means to be put to shame, and that those feelings of shame, grief and anger do not vanish simply because the history books may have written them away.

Bring back the voice of the moderate in that region. Tame Israel's wanton destruction because bloodletting only begets more bloodletting. Take away the foot soldiers of the radicals by protecting the innocent children, mothers, fathers and extended families from harm, for truth to be told, if as a Child I got to see my Mother's life sacrificed in the name of "Collateral damage", I can't deny that I wouldn't consider making a similar example of my enemy's mother too.

For just like Mr. Obama and everybody else, at the start of each day, and its eventual end, I pray for my family to be safe, no matter which side of the line I sit on, no matter which country, creed or race I claim - I want my family to be safe.

I'm Back Home!!!

Never did update this blog to show that I had made the great transition in moving from Kenya to the much unknown Wenzhou, China. And time is sometimes lost on me ‘cause that little event took place more than a year ago. And since that time I think China, unexpectedly, has grown quite a bit on me (this from someone who had specifically sworn off China – among other areas – earlier in his life).

I guess it was coming back to Kenya that really brought the point home. Personally, of all the people that ever had the chance to travel, I always felt that I am the least adequately suited. A true introvert, I’m more inclined to sit back and just blend into the environment (…but my depth is usually revealed in one-to-one conversations). With my predisposition towards been laid back, it takes me a while to get used to a place, and when I find that little slice of comfort, I never really want to move out of more than just that mere zone. So I don’t tend to search out that new experience (“it” in most cases finds me) and the benefits of being in a totally different locale are wasted on me.

Another thing about finding that comfort zone – even in another country – is that once I’m whisked out of it, even if it means returning home, I am just left out-of-sorts. I’ve had the unfortunate experience of making my ‘home-away-from-home’ in countries that rank on a scale much bigger than Kenya – USA (Central PA) and China (Wenzhou). The resulting reverse culture shock is murder. I love my country, and I know it’s still a fledgling democracy (45 years), but we should be progressing much faster than we have in recent years. The rhetoric from politicians wouldn’t worry me so much, if I didn’t have the nagging impression that all this political tomfoolery is killing the public goodwill. That public goodwill is more powerful than all the well-meaning money people will ever sink into Kenya.

Anyway, political musings aside, home is where the heart is. And nothing connects me more to this place than friends and family. Some things change, some remain the same, but they’re always here for me. There’s nothing quite like being back home. A special shout-out goes to my soul-mate, who’s known me even before the day I was born – My Twin Brother. My polar opposite, he grounds me in Kenyan reality, and he is a useful guide for any trip back home.

(Some people are probably chiding me for not saying something wonderful here about my mother…but that is a longer undertaking deserving more than just a one liner or an afterthought).

Of course, having travelled makes me a different creature; eclectic actually. The beautiful woods of Grantham, PA (under the guidance of Dr. Foster) brought out a love for greenery I felt was only unique to my late father, and my time in Wenzhou is teaching me all about the joy of blending simplicity and tradition with great development and expansion. And as always, it’s great to walk with ordinary people and witness humility and kindness personified. Every friend picked up along the way is a lifelong treasure (…at least until the next big fight :)

Finding greatness in the seemingly ordinary makes life worth living for me. I’m hoping through this evolution that I’m picking up more good than bad; that I’m learning to be gentler and humble, and that at the end of it all I’ll be able to share it with others (“Opening up” just like my Father always wanted me to).

But till this holiday end in the next 2 weeks, I’m just glad to be home.

My Shame

One of the reasons for my introversion is a strong sense of shame that I hav always had. Sometimes shame concerning where I come from, or shame for the things that I don't have or merely a shame concerning the things I haven't achieved (...or feel I should have achieved by now).



It is self-propagating: it leads to a whole load of fear, and I'm sure that other than sheer laziness, it is the main thing preventing me from fulfilling my potential. What's the reason for all the shame? Haven't I led a good life? Didn't my parents bless me with their best even when times were hard? Can't I count myself among some some of the luckiest people in this world, with all the things I've seen, places I've been and all the opportunities I've been granted?



Ideally, I should. My shame is simply a symptom of an inherent 'thanklessness'. I could have the world at my feet, but if I find no contentment within myself I would be but a lost cause.



So Lord, I ask you, beg you, to teach me contentment. Help me to find joy within my daily toil, and furthermore, help me to appreciate the toils and labour of others. Help me to learn how 'to do more with less' instead of achieving less whilst wasting so much. And, lastly, teach me to be able to move on with things no matter where I find them. Ideally, it would be great to have all the pieces of the puzzle solved before moving on, but alas, this is not a perfect life...we sometimes have to set off when most things appear uncertain.

But I'm sure that with a lot of determination and self-discipline (and a lot of help from above) all things are possible. Please wean me from my resistance to that first step.



I have a lot to do; my destiny awaits. There simply isn't any room to be cowered by an overbearing sense of shame & guilt, so I will move on as is. I have nothing to be ashamed of. If I can acknowledge my faults, pick myself up and confess them to my Father, & if He with all His majesty can put all those things aside, who am I to hold on to them?

Predestination & Free Will

It's been a while since I've written anything, and for that I apologize. Mayhaps I took a long break to get a new perspective on things, especially with regards to the current topic at hand. I spent a lot of time on the "predestination pages" of Facebook and anything that I could find on Google, and a lot of that searching led me to one conclusion: people are LOST when it comes to understanding predestination. Throw in "Free Will" and things only get more confusing; then people start to claim that Free Will and Predestination are mutually exclusive, i.e. both cannot exist together.


My take on the matter is simply this: "Predestination" & "Free Will" do exist in close union. They are literally different sides of the same coin. It is one of life's mysteries, and as such it doesn't totally have to 'make sense' (to us), but this does not invalidate the mystery's truth, and neither does it mean that it is illogical.


In order to start to understand this mystery, people first need to have the correct basis. In my reading, I find that all the misconceptions tied to this topic stem from a flawed understanding that is simply a consequence of a 'foundational' flaw. Free Will is actually not that hard to understand (fathoming its inherent beauty is the main problem people face); Predestination is the main problem, so that's where I'll begin.


So first, let's set the ground for predestination; it is a whole lot easier to believe in it if you believe in God (A Supreme monotheistic Benevolent God works best). The opposite of this would be to turn "Fate" into the ultimate force that runs your life, and, understandably, Fate does not have to work towards your self-interest. This easily turns into a Fatalist view, and I'm sure it's what scares a lot of people who as yet don't believe in God from discussing Predestination.


The second part is to understand who your God actually is and what His relationship is to you. The main question to ask is this: "Why did God make me?"

It would seem to be an easy enough question to answer, but this is by far the biggest stumbling block for people who already believe in God. And here is a short list of some of the misconceptions that have cropped up in relation to understanding & answering this question.

1. "God created us to worship Him." Yes indeed, the Father created us, but not essentially to worship Him. The whole creation gives praise to God just by its MERE existence, the intricacy that keeps it running & its inherent beauty. And, if we were meant chiefly for worship, wouldn't the Father have crafted us in the manner of the 4 living creatures before God's throne (Rev 4:8) who worship Him without ceasing?

But humans are indeed a different case from the rest of the creation; sure enough, our mere presence automatically gives God praise (for His excellent work), but also, with our Free Will, we WILLINGLY give praise to the Father

Note that the Father does not need us to worship Him (contrary to what Psalm 30:9 might imply), for remember that even if we deny Him praise, the rest of the creation will rightly give Him what is already His. Better yet, even when we do praise Him, we should be humble enough to remember that we are only giving back what is already His (1 Chronicles 29:14).


2. "God is glorified through us." This is true, but note that even without us He is still glorified. The worst form in which this could be misconstrued was a simple declaration that I once read online which basically sounded something like this:

Before the universe was even created, we know that God/Jesus/the Holy Spirit were there always. Now, even after the creation of Adam and Eve, Christ and the Holy Spirit still didn't have a purpose. Man, thus, had to sin so that Christ would provide a way to atone for Man's sins & the Holy Spirit would regenerate and fill certain hearts...and in this way, they would be GLORIFIED.

This is dangerous thinking to say the least. But to draw one back to the logical basis, one need only be reminded of the scheme of things as they were laid out in John 1:1-3:

"Through Him (Christ) all things were made; without Him, nothing was made that has been made."

3. "God was obligated to create us." This one is not entirely different from the above position. Some of the religious would argue thus: God planned to create us, but God, All-Knowing as He is, surely knew that we would betray Him by sinning. However, since He already had it in His mind to create us, He had no choice but to make us.


This ends up being carried to other extremes, especially when people try to correlate Predestination with the presence of sin in the world. The more common one would read like this:
"Since God created us knowing that we would sin, Christ was thus obligated to come die for our sins so that we might be saved."

People would argue that they still believe God is sovereign, but the downside of this manner of thinking is that we confine God to His act of creation. He is bound by it as if it is something that He has to do; He is trapped by obligation - a condition that would never exist for a truly sovereign God. A position that is similar in relation to this is the "God as the first cause of everything" stance.


4. "God as the first cause of everything." Truththfully, God did create this world and everything in it; and honestly, no one could do it better. But in trying to give praise to God, some people go the extra mile and add things to His plate that probably do Him a disservice; these things are none other than Sin and Suffering. Of course they would state that nothing happens without God willing it, and nothing can occur outside of God's will - hence, God wills sin and suffering into existence.
People hindered by this view would further use the defense that

"We know that all things work for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28)."


The problem here is two-fold: confusion concerning God's sovereignty & a misunderstanding of the world we live in. Now, by all means, we know that the world we live in is only a shell of what God originally meant it to be; it was a frustration of His original perfect plan brought about by man's sin. Therefore, one cannot understand God's perfect plan if they only restrict themselves to this 'frustrated imperfect reality' that we find ourselves in. Sin and suffering were not in the original plan, but they are something we have to deal with in this, our flawed reality.



Also, God's sovereignty is where a lot of people miss the point. They act as if there is a way in which God's sovereignty can actually be diminished; hence, He has to control everything so tightly. God goes from being "The Benevolent Father" to "The Overbearing Father". Sure enough, someone can believe that He's working for their good...but never has a smothering parent been considered a good thing, even if they have our best interests at heart.


But our Father is indeed Benevolent. And, just as God IS, so is His sovereignity. NOTHING any of us will ever do can ever change God's sovereignity. He, thus, isn't OBLIGATED to control things ("strong-arm") as tightly as some people would have us believe. But mind you, He is always in control!!!


5. "God created us for His pleasure." Very true; however, if this sentiment goes hand-in-hand with the feeling that God is a harsh vindictive Father, then it leads people down a desperate path.

"I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion. (Romans 9:14-15)"

This is a beautiful verse because it shows us that God really does have the final say. However, if people are burdened by this view that God abitrarily chooses whom to show compassion, then they can't really reflect on the beauty of the above reading, and this way they never really know what God is playing at. You end up with people convinced that they are called to a supreme fate, and, on the flipside, others who've been summarily neglected.



6. "God as a vending machine" This is the mindset behind any kind of "Works" system; you see it in many forms these days whereby people believe that the blessings in their lives have to mirror how much devotion they show to God. It is the basis for the Prosperity Gospel, and even much earlier than that (for it is quite an old mindset), it was the same standard that people used to condemn Job for his afflictions.


I do not have to mention the obvious - "GOD IS NOT A VENDING MACHINE".

7. "God as a drama-queen." This is a combination of various mindsets, and it is a logical outcome if we believe that God is vindictive, created us for His pleasure, and treats us as pawns in this game of life that He constructed simply to frustrate us. Surely, why else would evil men triumph so much and good men suffer?

People need to remember that God is Benevolent, even in those times when it's hard to see it. People should also remember that the Father will set things straight. This lifetime is but a mist that passes by quickly, but the Lord will certainly balance all accounts when the time is right; and only then will people realize the benefit of living a 'good' life. This stuff is not just "a pie in the sky."



These are a just a few of the ways in which people go wrong with regards to Predestination. What is does show is that one misunderstanding of even those truths that have already been plainly revealed to us really mars one's view of Predestination; fortunately, the ultimate basis for why God created us is easy enough to understand: it's HIS LOVE; it has nothing to do with what we did, or anything we will ever do.

"We Love because He first Loved us... (1 John 4:19) "

And this is why God ALLOWS you to share His vast bounty.


There is a third step though. It is not enough to know that God loves us. A basic misunderstanding always happens when people start to believe that the Lord loves them more than others. One show of this misconception that I read centered on Malachi 1:5 ("Jacob Loved, Esau Hated"). People mistakenly reflect this back to Genesis 25:23 where God basically states that "the older will serve the younger sibling," and they try to correlate this with the 'Love/Hate' spoken of in Malachi's verse.

But, this is not a curse! With Joseph's 2 sons - Ephraim and Manasseh - didn't the same exact situation play out (Genesis 48:12-20)? And what then would people say of God's decision to have Solomon construct the Temple, and NOT David, though David was unquestionably capable, willing & Loved by the Father (1 Chronicles 28:1-7)?

This was not God saying that He loved anyone less; He just had a different plan for the people involved. God is not a "vending machine" such that He will bless you according to how much He loves you.

[NOTE that Malachi 1:1-5 is a different context altogether; there was ample reason for God to be annoyed with Esau based on his actions, particularly forsaking his birth-right and the women he chose to marry]


Everytime I come across people who claim that they are "chosen" and "loved more than others", I find that they cannot conclusively answer why they were chosen as opposed to other people. They do agree that it wasn't based on anything they did or could ever do; there is nothing different about them than other people because each human being is a unique entity crafted by God so that no two will ever be alike.

Hence, there is no basis for assuming that God loves some people more than others. God loves US ALL EQUALLY. God is not Random!


From this, we can go on to the last and probably most important point of Predestination - How we actually see Predestination in our lives. Whenever I broach this topic with Christians I am likely to be referred to the Predestination Chapter (Romans 8:29-30):


"For those he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, so that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those he predestined he also called; and those he called he also justified; and those he justified he also glorified."


My main problem with this portion of scripture is the manner in which it comes out of Paul's mouth; the tense seems to be all wrong. As a believer in He Who Is, what exactly would this sound like coming from God Himself?

Since time is a 'weird' concept when we deal with The Almighty, the only tense that actually makes the most sense with regard to God is the Present Tense. So, if Romans 8:29-30 were uttered by GOD HIMSELF, what exactly would it sound like. (Some conjecture here please)


"For those I know I also destine to conform to the image of My Son, so that He might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those I destine I also call; and those I call I also justify; and those I justify I also glorify."



Note my changes
*With God there really isn't foreknowledge, it is knowledge (He knows); it only becomes foreknowledge when compared to what Humanity sees.
*And all the past perfect tense...well, it had to be made present tense, in view of God's unique nature.


Now, the problem we have here is that everytime people wax lyrical on Predestination, they use that 'Past Perfect Tense', which makes sense only to the Almighty because He's the ONLY ONE sitting outside of time. Humanity, however, cannot try to claim such a position; for us this is literally still a continuing work, and because we are temporal beings, we actually have to live out our whole lives and then reflect on the past to know whether our destiny was fulfilled. Alas, most people are confused when it comes down to assessing Time in relation to a God that is not bound by it.


My take on things is a bit different. I believe that according to God's original plan we were all predestined for Heaven - EVERYONE! A Benevolent Maker who made a GOOD creation only intended good things for that creation. The current reality that we live in is in fact merely a shell of the original plan. But we still know that God loves us and does not mean for any one of us to be lost (Matthew 18:10-14); He that loved us so much that He sent His Son to die for us (And NOT ONLY "the Elect" as some people try to make it seem these days).


When a lot of people look to find something in our lives that speaks of Predestination, they focus on a future that has not happened; a future that only The Maker is privy to. But I see Predestination in our lives everyday. The TALENTS are the clearest example of humanity's predestination. There will only ever be one you! The combination of talents (& temperament) that you experience is UNIQUE; it is your soul's fingerprint; there will never be another like you. This is a reality for every human being on the face of this earth.


There is of course a reason for being unique - we are NOT "unique for uniqueness sake". Every human brings something to the great puzzle of life. Everyone fulfils a special niche, and each niche is useful for the building of God's Kingdom on earth. These very talents wil help lead us and others to our proper destiny: Heaven; and what this basically means is that EVERYONE on this earth (for Better or Worse) is IMPORTANT.

However, people should remember that receiving these talents was not something random: just like the 3 servants in the parable (Matthew 25), something is expected of us.

"To those whom a lot has been entrusted, a lot will be expected" (Matthew 12:47-48).

And this is where Free Will comes in; however, there is a need to clear up a misconception going around that's still being thrown around lately and it involves 3 concepts: Free Will, Freedom & Liberty.

"Freedom" (ref. Galatians 5:13-14), is the power, rooted in reason and will, to act or not to act, and so to perform deliberate actions on one's own responsibility...it attains its perfection when directed toward God, our beatitude. Note also the words of 1 Corinthians 6:12 -

"Everything is permissible for me - but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible for me - but I will not be mastered by anything."

Now...that is true freedom!!!

"Liberty", is "doing what you please because you can". This notion is what has been mistaken for "freedom" in society today. [I actually feel that Liberty as understood nowadays more closely mirrors "Permissiveness".]

"Free Will" is what you actually choose (by use of reason, or lack of it) to do.

By this definition, I'd argue that a Hedonist is the most LIBERAL of human beings, but doesn't have the most FREEDOM. A person who is a slave to his own passions, wants and whims, can certainly never claim to be FREE.If we looked at it from a Temperate point of view, the spectrum would be something like:Legalism (one extreme) : Freedom (Median) : Liberty (another extreme) And one of these positions shapes how we end up exercising our Free Will.

The big question is whether we can do what we please with our "Free Will"?
*Well, of course we can!
But then, if "Free Will" were considered one of our 'rights', does it then follow that there are
responsibilities' tied to those rights?
*Rights & Responsibilities always go hand-in-hand, so yes, we have responsibilities!
Lastly, and most importantly, are there penalties to pay for not honouring our responsibilities?
* There most certainly are, the most scary of which is Hell!


So, we are free to do with our talents what we choose...however, there is HELL to pay (literally) for not using them in a manner pleasing to the Father.

I said earlier that people understand "Free Will", but for the most part they do not understand how great a gift it really is; mayhaps, this is why a lot of people blame God for their suffering as if He was somehow behind their suffering.

One reality I've become increasingly aware of in this life is this:

"Most people will suffer for the mistakes of another."


Nowhere is this more apparent than in every war-torn country where the selfish leaders have confined the innocent to a life of squalor; also, everytime the wicked take advantage of the weak and dependent it's the same old story; there are of course, less dramatic examples of misuse of power in our everyday lives, and it is these that probably constitute the majority. Such is the power tied to Free Will: other have been entrusted with (huge) responsibilities and they forget that it was given to them by Another. No matter though, for in the end God squares all His accounts.

Forgive the Pragmatist in me, but I feel better highlighting humanity's faults first. Now, in much the same way, we have a great potential to do good in this world. In a previous posting I tried to answer why it is that we do good in this world; what it is that makes this world go round. And I find myself faced with an even deeper answer these days – It is because this was how our Father intended for things to be. Ephesians 2:9-10:

"...We are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do"

What is so special about anything truly Good that is done in this world? Isn't it just something that God expected of us from the beginning?To be merciful, to show respect, to honour our parents, to fend for the weak, caring for the sick, comforting the sorrowful.....This world can only survive if people do good; it was what was always expected of us, and it was the way it was meant to be.

I have come across Christians who feel that it is only Christians who do 'true good' in this world because they do it in honour of their Father. Now, besides the millions of occasions when misguided Christians have devoted utter foolish acts 'to the glory of God', Christ's words warn me to think otherwise - Luke 17:7-10

"When you have done all you have been commanded, say, 'We are unprofitable servants; we have done what we were obliged to do."

Good works do not exist for Goodness' sake - they exist because of God's plan. There is NO good work that can be divorced from God. None! Done in selfishness or in submission to the Father, none of the good works is ever separated from Him. Every Good Work draw its beauty, its very nature from God - Our Beatitude, Our Ultimate Good; Good Itself, for that matter.

Christ alluded to this when He exhorted His followers to love their enemies. Matthew 5:43-48

"...If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even the pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your Heavenly Father is perfect."

I can give you another example. When Christians spread out into new lands and colonized them, one of the things they did was convert the natives and then proceeded to ravage the lands and their resources. Now, the natives, who tended to commune with nature (in some cases even worship it) already understood the importance of taking care of the environment. So, we now live in an age where (Environmental) "Stewardship" is all the rave with Christians. I would pose this question - Was environmental stewardship any less godly when a lowly native already understood it eons ago, ungodly as he/she was?

Certainly not! We are called to do good, there should be no doubt about that; but not matter how much good we do,we should remember that we are only giving back the Father what is already His. (1 Chronicles 29:14). The Good works are basically the tools that He gave us.

And as we strive to do good, we must remember that the two things God values above sacrifice are Obedience & Mercy (Hosea 6:6). In fact, I find that by extension, the practise of these 2 qualities is the fulfilment of the 2 greatest Commandments (Mark 12:33). The greatest thing we will ever be called to do is to Love our God, and after that our neighbour. How then do we show love for our Father? By obeying His commandments. And how then do we show love for our neighbour? By being merciful to him/her (sharing with them the mercy that we have already received in great measure from our Father).

Another problem stems from the whole Faith/Works mystery. (Surely, any mention of the Good Works is sure to bring out an antagonist who argues for a mere Fatih system). I am not trying to give people the impression here that they are "working" their way into Heaven...but as was said before, "...to those whom a lot has been entrusted, a lot will be expected" (Matthew 12:47-48).
It is no mistake that one of the most common forms of imagery used in the Bible is that of "The Fruit & The Vine", which was especially well laid out in John 15:1, 4-5:

"I am the true vine, and my Father is the husbandman...Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me. I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing."

The Faith binds us to the Vine, but the Works show forth what being grafted to the Vine spells for us.

One last problem that I can anticipate with regards to my views will be that some people will aruge that I place too much emphasis on how much control we humans have over our lives. At one point I was accused of reducing God to a "Mutable Contingent" God (Ok..He was really powerful and compassionate), but it was still a demotion.

And this is a really important juncture for us to appreciate the power of Free Will. It is a gift. God gives you the opportunity, the circumstance (casts a new light on what should be considered coincidence!) and He gives you the talent. How you use it is really up to you.
Now...for most people, especially those who see God as the First Cause of Everything, this sounds like mere nonsense; after all, God has arranged our paths from start to finish. How could we possibly be free to run around with the chance of messing up those things that He has already planned for us?

Honestly, I would counter that we are dealing with He who holds Eternity in the palm of His hand; He who is in control of all the "webs" that connect everyone scattered throughout this world. How much can we really change His plans? Could a drop of water alter the course of the Ocean? But then, if I say that God has this much control, am I contradicting myself by asserting that we have so much freedom?
I am not! The way I see it, God puts us in the right places, gives us the right opportunities, and actually does help us to develop those same gifts that He blessed us with. Honestly, who would know how to better maximize our potential other than He who intricately understands and 'authored' the gifts?
This is why I find, with the talents in particular, that probably the most important thing we could ever do is to ask God to 'Order Our Steps', for He in fact gave us these talents & knows the best way in which they can be used. And even if you make missteps, the Lord can still guide you back to your rightful path. How much you're willing to let Him guide you determines how close you get to what is your rightful path.

Also, I feel I need to answer the issue about a Contingent God. Honestly, people have the misconception that:
A Contingent God = A Mutable God = A Permissive God.

Honestly, a God that reacts to His creatures, where on earth could I have pulled that one from? Whenever I reflect on God's Mercy, without which I stand condemned, then I am thankful that He sonner reaches for His Mercy than for His Justice. And what does the Lord say of such things? Well...

1. The Lord's Prayer - Forgive us our tresspasses, as we forgive those who tresspass against us (Matt 6:12 & Mark 6:14)
The Parable of the Unmerciful Servant (goes hand in hand with the above example) - Matt 18:21-35 * special emphasis on Verse 35
2. ...Then your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you (Matt 6:1-4, 6:5-7 & 6:16-18)
3. Judging others - Matt 7:1-2
4. Whatsoever you do to the least of my brothers...Matt 25:31-46

The Lord actually does react to what you give Him. This does not mean that you have some form of control over Him; rather, it means He gives you the chance to be in a genuine relationship with Him; one in which you have a CHOICE.

But remember that you will be judged based on those choices; if someone can do good with their choices, then the reverse is also true. And just as in this reality, we know that we have to be able to answer for every choice that we make.
Remember still that your choices cannot, in the greater scheme of things, interfere with God's plans - He's just giving you the chance to be a part of His plan.
'Either you submit to His plan, and He lets you be a part of it; or, you can be swept up by His Plan, which has to come to pass.'
(Reference the Book of Jonah for more on this idea).

So, there you have it. I tried to answer a lot of questions within this piece, but all that would have been useless if I distract you from the main point of it all. So, this was the list for understanding Predestination & Free Will:

1. God
2. Love
3. Equal Love for All
4. The Talents
5. Using those talents, in conjunction with our Free Will.

There may be other way to understand Predestination & its relation to Free Will...but as a starter, this hierarchy is a lot less troublesome.

God Bless.

When Good People Do Bad Things...

"...If only it were so simple! If only there were evil people somewhere insidiously committing evil deeds, and it were necessary only to separate them from us and destroy them. But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart?"
-Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn


Finding this quote buried in a friend's profile was a Godsend. It ties in a whole lot of analytical questions that I've had to ask myself since mid last year. It is actually an expansion of the sentiment that "...you always hurt the ones that you love."

I think most of us wish life was simple - that things were black or white, and we had a simple way of knowing those who would cause us so much pain and sorrow. It would definitely make things a lot easier if we could see such people coming from a mile away, if they had special markings and so on....OR WOULD IT???
Truthfully, life has taught me that it's usually the unanticipated things that cause us the most pain. If I knew someone was evil to begin with, I'd probably steer clear of them; and in any case, if they did do wrong by me anyway...well, I didn't expect anything better from them in the first place.

So, the real people to really be wary of are those for whom we hold the deepest of reverence in our hearts; those that we let close, those that make us vulnerable precisely because we allow them to see us in our most vulnerable of states. No wound cuts deeper than that delivered by those whom we love for this exact reason.

I'm not writing this post to give the impression that "Trust" is over-rated; rather I'm writing this as an answer for all those occasions when we find that those close to us have let us down. When the only question on our mind is "WHY?"
.....Why did they do it? Why didn't I see it coming? Was it something that I did? Was there something that I could have done? Why should I have to suffer if it wasn't my fault? How could someone so good do something so bad? Why did I let that person get in so deep?

We need to ask those questions to make sense of everything; to at least get as close to a semblance of "closure" as the situation would allow. Some people will be lucky enough to have the offending party talk to them and try to explain things as best as they can, which is about the most mature thing that occur under the circumstances. But going by humanity's dastardly record, I sense that most of us have had the hit-and-run experience where someone doesn't give us an adequate explanation; the task of understanding events and achieving closure is totally left up to us. Therefore, what my experience has taught me is that, of all the aforementioned questions already posed, the best question to personally answer is

"How could someone so good do something so bad?"

I will not turn this into a religious debate about good and evil just because I needn't go that far. Such a question simply borders on our free will and what we're willing to do with it. Few of us would ever doubt that our human nature is flawed, so it isn't really ridiculous to assume that, as humans, we are going to do a few thing unbecoming towards each other (especially those closest to us). But I think that we humans, religious or otherwise, have the capacity to know the difference between right and wrong even though it may not have been spelled out to us in the most obvious ways growing up; or at least, we can 'tell' when we're doing something wrong.

One of the most pivotal lines for this argument came from Al Pacino in the movie "Scent of a Woman:

"...Now I have come to the crossroads in my life. I always knew what the right path was. Without exception, I knew, but I never took it. You know why ? It was too damn hard."

I think, universally, across the board, we all know what the right thing is to do. Those people who hurt us or betray us, they know what needs to be done; they know that they need to dig in, apologize and try to make things right. But...what they "know" and what they "choose to do" is where the conflict comes in; and this again sets the stage for one of life's more obvious lessons,

"...All that is necessary for bad things to happen is that good people do nothing."

Everyone knows that it's easier for bad things to happen in this world; we actually have to work extra just to make sure that good things come our way, and to ensure that the few ruffians around us don't drive the rest of this world into anarchy. It's hard to be good in a world that usually won't reward you for it. But I sense that most people would choose 'good' any day over the alternative; it is the ideal way to live after all (...and you don't have to be religious to understand that!)

I spend even less time these days looking for the definitions of a bad person, because truthfully, some bad people do good things for those close to them. Rather, I just understand "bad" in terms of a 'lack of good', or 'a failed understanding of what good actually is'. But I have also come to believe in the redemptive power of apologies and forgiveness. We expect those close to us to be perfect, but that is usually a pipe-dream; what we truly expect, however, is that they would be wise enough to offer us an apology and try to make things right once the wrong has been committed.

Now, people have hounded me from time to time concerning how effective an apology actually is considering the fact that it might not even be "genuine"; and after all, it doesn't exactly fix anything, anyway. But I would counter that it takes great strength to apologize for something that we have done; it is an exercise in self-control to get over your ego, set aside your pride and try to make things right; (probably the best image for this would be Christ's challenge of 'dying to oneself'). And what you show the offended party is that though the bad deed can't be undone, at least you're sorry and you're willing to try to fix things. This then makes forgiveness somewhat easier.

Unfortunately, for those who never get the apology, it's still in your best interest to forgive the offending party. Believe me, I do not say this lightly because it is hard as hell, and it hurts like hell too. Being the 'bigger person' in the situation is extremely hard to bear for someone who doesn't even care enough to put your mind at ease in the first place. But, in my experience, holding onto all that bile, anger, disgust and hate just imprisons you; worse, it allows the offending party to exert a strength over your life by turning you into a bitter person. So, by all means, forgive the person.

...BUT DO NOT SELL YOURSELF OUT BY LETTING THEM OCCUPY THEIR PREVIOUS POSITION IN YOUR LIFE WITHOUT SOME FORM OF A DECENT APOLOGY. Forgiveness and an offer of friendship is humane, but a position within your 'inner circle' is always EARNED.

God Bless.

Shell-Shocked Africans!

It's been quite a while since I did some "blogging", and when a good friend gets on your case about, you know it's finally time to put in some work.

This is my first real blog since I got to China, so in some ways it feels real special. Things are making more sense (out here) these days, and I appreciate that I'll have the chance to grow in a different way. Perhaps I'll find life's missing piece of the puzzle that eluded me both in Kenya and in the US. Every little piece of knowledge counts, and since no culture is perfect, we'd do best to adopt those beneficial portions of other cultures.

One thing that I constantly have to remind people (whenever I find myself in a foreign land for the purpose of study) is that I am not running away from home. Just because I chose to study outside doesn't mean I've abandoned my home-country forthwith; it's just my way of getting my act together before I return home. Anyone who remembers the independent research I did knows the problems I had to deal with in getting "Phytoremediation" accepted as something plausible in Kenya. So, in reality, me being in the US (or China) to better follow that path definitely makes more sense.

But....in as much as I'm not running away from home, there are probably a lot more people that actually ARE RUNNING AWAY! And since I've never been one to back down from a conversation about development, I usually talk to such people to peel away the layers of what is so bad about their home countries (especially the Africans). And it seems that the more things change, the more they remain the same: consistently, people from different countries seem to have the same answers.

"...the government is bad; misuses people's funds."
"...I want to live in this foreign land because they know how to put money to good use. Development like this can't be found in my country, and it won't be coming anytime soon..."
"....better I put my money into this foreign land....at least it'll go towards good use...."

Sadly, the list goes on and on. Now I know a lot of places have been through really bad times (especially in the case of Africa), and yes, even in those countries where things should have progressed at a much faster pace things may be lagging a bit. True, it is sad; but surely, there are definitely great things in our future.

I think that one of the biggest problems with looking outwards for answers to development is that we only see what we want to see: the beautiful exterior. Lord knows how they arrived at that beautiful exterior! No truly beautiful thing is ever achieved without great sacrifice and effort. Most of the development we see today, in some cases, is simply the result of TIME; some people (like the Chinese or the North Americans) have simply been around longer and had more time to get things right. It also counts if there's less in-fighting in the whole situation. Some people just had more mineral resources, and some people just learned to get by with the little they had (Japan, Netherlands). All these have made these people who they are.

But I still insist to people that there's more to it than just the beautiful exterior. Good sacrifices have been made....but some useful cultural norms have been lost at the 'expense of development'; and in some places serious (perhaps irreparable) damage has been done to the environment in which subsequent generations of people will be forced to live in.

I look to the underdevelopment in some parts of Africa right now, and sometimes it seems like a blessing in disguise. Like maybe, just maybe, we were required to wait for just such a time as this when we can develop our industries along 'greener' lines; a time when we can profit from all the research and the previous mistakes of those who have come before us; a time when any serious person should realize that running a country is a lot like running a good business:

"It is better for the whole country as a whole when everyone profits; not just a select few"

All the lessons have been laid down; we have all that we need. But there are a few habits that we (especially Africans) are gonna have to scrape away.

1. Blaming past oppressors for every ill under the sun. We know they did us wrong, but that is spilt milk. We have to make due with what we've been given, lest we end up like those people that Jesus spoke of "..even the little that they have will be taken away."

2. Excessive politicking - It's understandable that we strive for the Great Democracy that is espoused by the Developed countries, but I think that Democracy is truly a misnomer. Real political wisdom consists in knowing that in life there are some things that are not democratic at all. We cannot squeeze in the notion of Democracy into every little thing under the sun (for example, the recent bid to interpret what constitutes MARRIAGE in many western countries is just one such mistake!)

I am not making a plea towards tyranny or communism......but people need to understand that a healthy balance is what is needed in life. Unbridled democracy will be the end of us all. Endless politicking does us more harm than good.

3. Bad Blood - we have no time to be at each other's throats. No real distinctions based on ethnicity (or any other factor) exist in this world. There is usually only one true distinction and that's WEALTH (Those who have, Those who have little, & Those who have nothing). The sooner people realize this, the better.

As I've suggested, especially with regards to Africa, we aren't really that far behind. All that has to happen is that a series of small steps have to be taken; the PROBLEM is that these small steps have to be taken by EVERYONE. Getting a whole bunch of heterogenous people (even within a single country) to do something as ONE is the real task.

We need to be united first, and then after that, we need to make the great sacrifices that will be required of us. I have suggested before to people that Kenya, on its own, requires about "one generation" worth of sacrifice to get to where it needs to be.

I feel dismayed when I look at other African countries and see them boast of the success of China & the Asian Tiger (as if that's going to mean that there'll be more people to loan us money). Can't they see that in fact that might just be an even bigger hurdle that we'll have to contend with in the long run? That perhaps, we are placing too much trust in the perceived 'goodness' of someone else.....a costly mistake that we've already made many times before.

Bottomline, it'll be up to us to fix things! And we're going to need everyone: the hopeful, hopeless, lukewarm, shell-shocked, pragmatists, optimists and pessimists. I just pray that there isn't too large a mess left to fix when we finally have our chance to change things. But if you're with me in this, I can guarantee you that it's a worthwhile venture (devoid of instant reward), but the very stuff that GREATNESS is made of.

Prosperity Gospel: My Thoughts

Where on earth did we go wrong? How could such a misleading doctrine have found its way into our Church’s teachings? Do people actually equate ‘personal wealth’ with true greatness in this day and age? Of all the people that ever lived, none was ever as deserving of having lived in wealth and splendour as our Lord Jesus Christ, and yet He chose to be born into a relatively humble life – might He have been trying to prove a point?

This issue really disturbs me because it portrays a watering-down of the Christian Faith. It is to tell people that they will principally know that they find favour in God’s eyes according to the material blessings that will be bestowed upon them in their lives. Are we supposed to give a lot so that we can receive a lot (a ‘reciprocity’ of sorts)? Is this the station that we have demoted our Heavenly Father to?

I believe that it is very useful to reflect on the very prayer that the Lord Himself gave us.

- Our Father who art in Heaven
1. Hallowed be Thy name
2. Thy Kingdom come
3. Thy Will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven
4. Give us this day our daily bread
5. And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us
6. And lead us not into temptation
7. But deliver us from Evil
- For the Kingdom and the Power and the Glory are Yours, now and forever. Amen.

Simple formula for a prayer actually: a salutation, 7 requests and an ending. What is most revealing about this prayer is that one request, above all others, unifies all parts of the prayer - request no. 3: “Thy will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven”

The whole prayer, as with all prayers (though it might not be explicitly stated) rests on God’s Will. There is no need for reciprocity because this 3rd request in a prayer that many of us have prayed since our childhood is actually us submitting ourselves to our Father’s Will. This means that some of us will receive great material blessings in this life and others will not, but it does not imply that our Father loves us any less; it simply means that our path in life will have to be different. In fact, for those who will be very “blessed” a note of caution has to be exercised, for “With great power comes great responsibility.”

That last line might resonate with ardent followers of the Spiderman franchise; however, almost 2000 years ago someone came up with another way of stating the same exact thing:

“From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.” (Luke 12:48)

This puts things in context: to receive more in terms of blessings, wealth or talent implies that a whole lot is also expected of us; a greater lot, in fact, than from those without. It is thus unfortunate for me to hear my fellow people “beating others over the head” with their blessings. None of us chooses the situation into which we are born, the families we find ourselves amongst, or to some extent the opportunities that fall into our laps. Put in another way, as beings bound by time & space, we need to realize that if God were to shift the delicate threads of time & space around us, He could actually change everything in our lives that we take for granted. All our “blessings” could be gone and the dynamics of our lives could drastically change for the worse. Hence, no matter what station we find ourselves in life, we have to HUMBLY acknowledge both our fragile existence in this world, and the fact that circumstance plays a big role in who we are.

I do not adhere to the notion that it is sinful for people to be rich, and poverty is the right option; neither do I uphold that poverty is punishment and ‘prosperity’ is the true sign of blessing. In line with the virtue of Temperance, I believe that most things (which are not inherently evil), within their proper setting and undertaken in moderation, are in line with God’s will. Hence, the riches in our life, to whatever extent we will experience them, are good so long as they take their rightful places in our lives – subjugated by our religious thought. To place both these issues at par basically entails elevating ‘material wealth’ and desecrating ‘religious thought’.

The extent to which the notions of ‘material wealth’ and ‘religious thought’ ends up being blended is precisely the reason why I understand more concretely that our Lord’s words will come to pass: “The first will be last, and the last will be first”. People throughout the ages have made the mistake of equating ‘wealth’ and ‘religion’; it is the same mistake that characterized the tribulations of Job, and it is the same mistake that Christ tried to rectify during His mission here on earth. I believe it was Christ’s very intention to correct this misconception by the life He lived, and true to this, the bulk of His life was spent as a lowly carpenter.

His example shows that everyone – from the heights of royalty to the lowest of the low – has a role to play in this world; that there is just as much Greatness to be found in ordinary daily tasks as there is in the miracles that He performed; that Greatness comes from WITHIN and not from WITHOUT.

In truth, I think the word ‘prosperity’ needs to be redefined (within the religious context) because that is where most people miss the point. If we choose to define it according to the Fads that characterize our changing lifestyle, then prosperity could come to represent the latest gadgets, cars, rims, fashions, mansions (you name it). This of course is a twisted way of going about things because a few centuries ago one was considered rather prosperous, say, if they took more than two baths a week in England. No one today would really go about judging prosperity in the same way.

If we truly believe that our religion is timeless, then we definitely require timeless markers by which to gauge the ‘prosperity’ in our faith; ‘Everlasting values’ so to speak. And these ‘Everlasting Values’ are numerous, and they remain as potent today as they’ve ever been; things like ‘showing gratitude’, ‘caring for the less fortunate’, ‘taking time to listen and counsel those who have problems’, ‘protecting the weak’, ‘encouraging others’, ‘correcting those who have erred’, ‘showing mercy to others’, ‘bringing a smile to someone else’s face’ and so on. I dare say that as a janitor in college I witnessed these values in my supervisors and fellow workmates, and I am a better person for it. Some of these affiliates of mine will never know anything more than a simple life; some of them will never share the podium with the ruling elite; some will never directly influence more than the handful of the people in their spheres of interaction; but in the grand scheme of things, that is alright because they are making the most of what’s been given to them. Their Greatness may not have a far-reaching global effect, but it will mean the world to those who encounter them. And for this, they will earn their Blessing in full measure; (a measure that could very well outweigh that of more famous individuals).

A friend of mine (who is currently courting the notion of Solipsism) recently asked me why it is that I choose to do good in this world. Is it, perhaps, because I expect a reward from God - after all, that is why a lot of Christians do it, right?

I was taken aback because it truly is one of those hard questions to answer. But, the answer to his question can be revealed by sifting through the answer to yet another age-old question: “What is it that makes this world go round?”

People have answered this question many ways from time to time, but the answer that rings true to me in this situation is “PEOPLE” (or even more critically, “PEOPLE’S GOOD DEEDS”). Consider that for a world where it is easier to let things run amok, where entropy rules, where unjust people prosper much faster than the just, where it takes communities of people working together to bring about good versus one misguided fool with a bomb to put all that hard work asunder. Consider that with all the negatives seeming to be heaped against us, we are still doing pretty well for a world.

We survive because of all the good that people do; the good that is done free-of-charge, without the expectation of a reward; the good that people will do for other people who neglect them, despise them or even cause them harm. One of Christianity’s crowning moments – Christ’s crucifixion - is testament to this type of good; that the greatest being who ever lived would still die for those very lowly people who betrayed Him, who cursed, taunted and mocked Him is indeed true Greatness. In fact, this type of Greatness – these good deeds – is the only way we can function optimally. And I think having the world running optimally would be a good enough reward for those of us who live in it. However, because our free will is a blessing, which we can use in any way we deem fit, to use it in a manner that is in league with God’s Will earns us God’s Blessing, perhaps not in this world, but in the One to come.

If we agree to submit ourselves to God’s Will, then we have to acknowledge that He might say NO! (Remember King David’s request to build the Temple). It is pretty strange that some people cannot wrap their minds around such a simple fact since the ‘Language of No’ is the first language you really learnt from your parents. Initially, we just understood it to mean that we were not meant to do things because our parents said no. Eventually, however, as we mature, we learn the justification behind our parents’ prohibition. And, since God is the Ultimate Parent, I can’t help but feel that sometimes He will keep us from receiving certain blessings that we desperately want in our lives. But our Father is NOT malicious, and I believe with prayer, maturity and hindsight He will eventually reveal to us the reasoning behind His NO! (Remember this!!!)

Essentially, it all boils down to the fact that true ‘prosperity’ comes from within. No appendages, addendums or cosmetics on the outside can ever make up for something that is missing on the inside. Remember that God’s Will bodes well for you too and may God Bless you no matter what your station is in life.

The Floods

The rains have arrived, and not a moment too soon either. The famine was one experience that most Kenyans are not likely to forget in a hurry. However, during the course of the famine, when the clamor for the rains had reached a fever-pitch, the ‘pessimistic’ (read ‘pragmatic’) Kenyans were quick to note that

“…during times of drought Kenyans starve, yet even when the rains come Kenyans will still be starving.”

Despite our prayers for rain to ease the current hardship, it is a very well known fact that too much rain (as has assaulted us recently) can be just as bad as lack of it. Whereas lack of rain might stunt plant growth, a deluge of it is likely to kill or simply wash away growing crops. This is the nature of the double-edged sword that is “rain”. However, since we are not exactly privy to being able to control the manner in which rain falls, we do at least have a duty to modify our environment in such a way that the rain causes as few problems as possible.

This is particularly the case in urbanized areas. By their very nature, the developments characterizing urban areas – roads, buildings, walkways and such – give rise to impermeable surfaces that hinder the extent to which the rainwater can infiltrate into the ground. Any responsible urban planning must thus entail an efficient drainage system. 

With all the recent development going on in Nairobi, I wonder if the developers have tallied the exact effect that they will wreak on our city’s drainage capabilities. Needless to say, the drainage needs to be improved, and sometimes the best way to determine what needs to be done is to troubleshoot to find out where the drainage system is failing. For our current situation, such faults can immediately be assessed in terms of things like flooded residential areas and roadways, clogged ditches and waterlogged fields. With the knowledge incurred from this troubleshooting, the relevant official bodies would at least know where to start fixing the problems once the drier season prevails.

The drainage issues in the rural areas pose another problem; this is because they arise from a different set of circumstances. The environment in these areas are less likely to be fitted for flood alleviation, people are more likely to live in the vicinity of rivers, and things as simple as clearing forests and leaving the land bare serve to exacerbate the situation of flooding. In one sense, flooding can be partially be reduced by directly combating these aforementioned causes. However, another potential solution can be found in floodwater harvesting; firstly, rural runoff tends to be relatively less polluted than urban runoff, and if it could be adequately harvested and stored, it could be a vital resource for easing the water shortage issues (particularly considering the fact that this same water can be used - without any treatment - for growing plants). Perhaps, this is the very venue by which a greater majority of Kenyan farmers can be allowed access to water for irrigation.

The whole notion of floodwater harvesting can actually be applied to both urban and rural settings. However, urban usage presents a more complicated problem because a larger amount of toxins are present within the runoff, and this water would require specialized treatment before it could be used for the more delicate forms of human consumption. However, with some minimal treatment, it can still be used for toilet flushing, hot water systems; watering lawns, gardens and playing fields; car washing, fire extinguishing systems and even creating artificial lakes, ponds and other wetlands.

Floodwater harvesting might appear to be an expensive venture initially, but in light of the expenses that end up being incurred due to our failure to preempt the destructive effects of excessive rainfall, it might actually be cheaper in the long run to actually initiate floodwater harvesting practices. It is no easy task to perform, particularly because it is a multidisciplinary approach that will require the input of various professionals. However, we are fortunate enough that some of the initial inexpensive groundwork can be laid at such an opportune time as this. Using Nairobi’s city centre as a pilot test for starters, scientists (or even fledgling scientists in the form of university students) can map out portions of the city and choose specific locations in which to sample and carry out tests on the quality of the water runoff and the variance of its quality within the stages of a storm event; further, they could also investigate the quality of the water left in stagnant pools around the city. If this data is published, it will provide an ideal source of information concerning the level of toxins in the water, which in turn would allow urban planners to specify an appropriate form of remediation to enable the water to be recycled.

It would be wise of us to follow the example of a country like Australia, which is already investing its resources into researching and implementing floodwater harvesting as a means to recycle an important resource as well as to reduce the environmental hazard posed by the discharge of floodwater directly into rivers and other receiving water bodies. I am not insinuating that Kenya’s development is exactly at par with Australia’s; I am, however, suggesting that our development does not have to be at par with a developed country for us to adopt an obviously wise idea that is within our reach. Learning to store water (particularly in cisterns), remediating it and putting it to use are measures that we should look into for our own sakes, and for those who are to come after us.