The Music of Pat Metheny - Farmer's Trust

I've been an avid fan of Pat Metheny since being introduced to his work in the form of his beautiful song, 'James,' some time circa the early 2000's. Truth be told, my first true introduction to him came in the late 90's as a result of the Walt 'Baby' Love countdown show, which used 'Here to Stay' as a segue piece.

Since that time, I've gotten to listen to a lot of his music, and he is quite the busy artist with prolific output. Some of the stuff he puts out is straight ahead jazz, other stuff (example, 'Here to Stay') borders on smooth jazz; and then some of his stuff is just straight out of this world experimental.

Today, I'm focusing on 'Farmer's Trust' from his live Travels album, which consists of a slew of the Pat Metheny Group's hits recorded during live sessions in 1982 (yep, this recording is technically as old as I am). This is my best song on the album, and probably one of his all-time favourites. I believe the best way to describe the song would be as "...a melancholic chant, a soothing lullaby, a celebration of life in its simplicity and just a hint of an ode to Mother Nature"; at least those were the words I used when I wrote to the Q&A page on his website.

My earliest introduction to the song was via the Kevin Costner movie "Fandango". I remember perusing through the PMG website and finding out that some of the group's songs were a part of the Fandango soundtrack. If memory serves me right, there should be 3 songs: It's for you, September 15th and Farmer's Trust. "It's for you" received the most screen time as part of a dance routine; unless you're really familiar with "September 15th", you'd miss it as only a smidgen of it plays out on a landing strip. "Farmer's Trust" is the setting for a particular memorable scene: the movie's closing. As everyone departs, we are treated to a long goodbye between two characters (Phil & Dorman), and after that Kevin Costner's "Gardner" casts a long glance back at them from a vantage point overlooking the party. Originally, I remember being distraught because I felt like the track itself was part of the movie's score, and thus something I would be unable to come by; however, with a bit of luck trying out the one PMG group song I was  unfamiliar with, I found my song.

This ballad has that open plain Midwestern charm that's at the root of Metheny and Mays' humble beginnings. It sounds like they concocted it as they sat out over some open plain late past dusk, and tried to evoke the mood of the calmness settling over the earth. Nana Vasconcelos (rest his soul) provides the delightful bird chirping that gives this song an ethereal quality. I couldn't believe that he actually used a rubber duck to pull off such an impressive feat! (the man was a wizard).

The interplay between all the moving pieces that are the 5 musicians involved in crafting this gem works so well that it actually seems like a really simple song. (Jim Hall & Pat Metheny in fact have a very beautiful rendition of this song that only comprises of the two of them on guitars). It has this great use of silence interspersed within it; sometimes Metheny on guitar shines through while everyone else takes a back seat, then Mays on the keyboard takes the lead; Rodby lays out a beautiful bass line, Gottlieb's drums as just the slightest hint of a whisper...and finally, Nana's got the chirps. I think what's really impressive about this band - in all its permutations - is its ability to fill up space orchestrally with their notes. It feels like they use the bare minimum of notes here, and it works perfectly.

If I were on a deserted island, this is definitely one of those tracks I'd have with me. There's just so much hope at the core of this song.

God Bless

Driving in Kenya: a long journey

Well, I do believe I've officially been driving in my home country for 5 months now. What an adventure it's been! Gotta say I never thought I would never make it to the point where I'd actually enjoy driving. Sure, this seems a little dramatic, but I haven't had the easiest of starts when it comes to this driving business, unlike my twin brother.

He and I took a very divergent route after the end of high school. He was wiser and took the driving lessons, somehow I ended up taking French lessons that haven't really counted for much in my life thus far; thus, he ended up becoming a pretty competent driver early on, and I just remained jittery ol' me.

Not long after that, I shipped out to the States to attend college, which is where I started to learn how to drive. Manual transmission was the exception to the rule then (kind of how it is in Kenya these days), so my driving experience was relatively easier on an automatic transmission;  in addition, Central PA had some of the nicest drivers I had ever encountered: people were courteous on the roads, followed basic road rules, car horns were sparingly used, etc. Also can't forget that those were some of the nicest spacious roads I had encountered, though some PA natives seemed to complain that PennDOT's spending on road maintenance was 2nd to last nationwide. It was a rocky start though, considering Heather Norris' crash course in getting me driving - Day 1 and Day 2 : Parking lots, Day 3: HIGHWAY! Sure, it was her car, but that was just bananas :)

Anyway, serial procrastinator that I typically am, I gained confidence on the roads, but I never ended up getting licensed. In retrospect, it would've made things easier because I could've just converted the license once I returned home in May 2005. I really didn't think that my experience in the States had changed me much; however, reverse culture-shock was deep, particularly on the road. It seemed like bedlam incarnate on the Kenya roads: people didn't follow basic rules, road signs or any sort of instruction, the drivers were aggressive for aggressiveness' sake, and the roads were narrow, poorly marked and poorly maintained. There was no way I was ever thinking of getting behind the wheel at that point.

Fast forward 2 years down the road, and it was my time to jet off to South East China (Wenzhou) to study medicine. China is a land of many achievements, but their driving culture is sadly not one of them. Chinese drivers are even crazier than Kenyan drivers! I guess the only thing they have going for them is the wider roads. I saw the Chinese commit so many sins on the roads that I was always left in wonder as to how I managed to come across such few incidences of road accidents. The pedestrians were a hazard, darting across the roads without a care in the world; people on bicycles, scooters and those in cars were just as bad. The safest drivers I ever came across were the bus drivers, which was well and good, because that was how I mainly got around. China did do me a favour by relieving the fear I felt on the Kenyan road, which was more evident when I'd travel back home for the holidays.

So, 6 years later (2013), I was back home again after finishing med school. Towards the end of the year, I finished my driving-lite course, and got licensed. (Truthfully speaking though, driving school in Kenya is a joke! The licensing process is an even bigger joke!). Anyway, the license took forever to show up, I never really practised, and then soon it was time to be shipped out to Kisii for an ultra long internship. Once I abandoned the western part of Kenya for the chance to be closer to Nairobi, it became apparent that I could no longer escape the task of having to drive. My current work station - PCEA Kikuyu - has a terrible public transport situation. Sure, matatus ply the route; the problem is that I need about 3 - 4 separate matatus to get to the hospital. Therefore, I had to "properly" learn to drive stick-shift...and for the most part develop the confidence to see things through.

5 months down the line, I have all the confidence in the world. I love driving fast (not illegally fast), and the freedom it affords me. In the beginning I avoided slowing down a lot, because there's nothing quite as demoralizing as having the engine die out on you in the middle of the road. Amateur mistakes occur less often these days :) Granted I still complain about the craziness of the whole system; I still hate the aggressive driving style, especially that of matatu drivers; I hate that people risk their lives periodically walking across the roads without respecting their lives, or those of the drivers who have to protect the lives of those same nonchalant pedestrians. (Can you imagine having your car torched because an irate mob takes it upon themselves to dish out "justice" for a perceived grievance, yet the instigator was the selfsame careless pedestrian?)

The system isn't perfect, but I'm learning to live with it. I treat every drive like a day at the operating theatre - start it with a prayer. With all the things stacked up against you on these roads, you might as well invoke the Divine to improve your chances.

At some point, I can talk about my newfound pet peeves on these roads; but for now, have a great day and God Bless

Memories: My Messiah College Mentor

Good day one and all.

Been meaning to put this up here for a while. For a little context, just want to remind some folks (for those who might not know it) that my mother is/has been a university registrar for about 30 years. This means that in the course of my life I've been put to work on stacking, stapling, editing or helping out in some capacity with the work she's brought home.

After her stint at Daystar University ended (27+ years), she's spent short stints at other universities in the same capacity. What's worrying is that a lot of these universities have her putting out small fires because their foundations education-wise are pretty unsound. The very same institutional shortcomings talked about concerning Kenya's tertiary education system seem to have spread to multiple institutions like the flu of the month.

This is where my Messiah memory comes in. I can't fully make you appreciate how daunting it was to find myself away from home, a whole continent away (for the first time), and having to study for the first stage of my medical degree. However, I am glad that Messiah had the mentor system, whereby each student was given a lecturer who basically helped them weather the college experience. I actually had 2 mentors: Dr. Jon Melton, a chemistry lecturer, for my first 2 years; later, Dr. Sherri Boyce, a neuroscientist, who also happened to be from my same School (Dept) of Natural Sciences, took up the role. For the purpose of this chat, I'll be dealing with Dr. Melton.

By nature a very quiet man, I remember that our first talk in his office was very simple. He got to know about how I was settling in, then he basically set me up for my whole college life. He took me through the course catalog for PreMed Bio, with all its requirements, then he told me that I should basically arrange and select all my courses per semester for my entire time at Messiah. Of course, understanding the complexities of Messiah's online registration system (then known as Irislink, which then morphed into MC-squared), he told me to have some flexibility in mind for elective courses I could take in case I found myself locked out of my first choices.

Just like that, the man gave me a blueprint for my whole time at Messiah, such that every semester, as soon as my allotted time came up, I registered for my classes in comfort. I'm really sad that I didn't interact with him that much after I had to switch mentors, thus I've never thanked him for what he did.

Tying all these things together, I think all these fledgling Kenyan universities could borrow a leaf from other institutions with a winning formula. Seems like nowadays the trend is just to pack the classes with as many students as possible, hire plenty of part-time lecturers to attend to the masses, overload a student's semester/trimester with courses (independent of their aptitude, performance or desire), and hope for the best.

And for goodness sake, what's with the rush to offer Master's degrees/PhDs? Using Messiah as a reference, after having being started in 1909, it became a college in 1920, and then only when it turned 100 years old did it introduce a Master's degree (Counseling). Compare this with some Kenyan universities which within the space of 7 years since inception already offer full fledged PhD programs, and you can appreciate the mess that we're in.

It's in taking care of the little things, that an institution can aspire for greatness; it's also in focusing and polishing specific fields that an institution of learning can become world renowned and a centre of excellence. It is the unique nature of a good university experience at a good university that will keep drawing quality students for years to come.

So in closing, would just like to say Thank You Dr. Melton for everything, all this that's worthy of a lifetime lesson.

God Bless.

Poverty Tours: Redux

Hope everyone had a Happy Eid celebration.

I feel like I might not quite be finished after that last post on Poverty tourism. For one, I recognize that a highlight of the post was one particular poorly-received chapel experience at my Alma mater, Messiah College. I must admit, it was a struggle waking up for chapel, especially after clocks got pushed forward "daylight savings" style in the spring; not every chapel was a gem, either, and sometimes that made chapel attendance more of a chore than anything else. However, for the most part, chapel was an enjoyable formative experience, and I was glad to see all the people involved put their hearts into making each session a success, no matter what small part they played.

Kibera is on my mind yet again. No less a celebrity than Madonna was in Kenya recently, and even she couldn't help but bring attention to Kibera. She visited the world famous slum, and highlighted the work of an NGO - Shining Hope for Communities. I'm pretty sure the NGO does good work, and Madonna will no doubt ensure that they get a great deal of funding. Against this backdrop, Kenya gets another slap in the face.

Sure enough, you can't deny the level of squalid levelled at you when you set foot in some parts of Kibera (and other less famous parts of Nairobi). I am not denying that one bit; however, with all things seemingly so permanent, there is the underlying thread that someone let all this happen. To paraphrase a quote I read somewhere,

"We celebrate those things which we hold dear."

Maybe we've just developed an uncanny ability to celebrate the mediocrity that surrounds us...to tolerate the sprawl and unplanned structures that have arisen in the recent past...to tolerate the poor excuse for public transportation that's supposed to get the majority of residents around. No less than a future aspirant for Governor of Nairobi intimated that his idea of progress was to turn a historic greenspace into a public transport terminus. Mediocrity par excellence.

I place this blame at the feet of our political class, and the other part on us for making it so easy to skate on by without any sort of work output.

The donors rush in and see all this desperation, and their response is to throw more money at the situation. That money is ultimately gobbled up by the attrition of Administrative costs. How can anyone in the developed countries that send us funding sit back in satisfaction as Kenyan politicians take home massive salaries completely incongruent to our GDP, refuse to contribute anything towards taxes, and plunge citizens into avoidable debt? And at the end of it all, the politicians still have the gall to ask for debt forgiveness and more aid.

Devolution, part of what was meant to address such issues, is not surprisingly stillborn. Rather than build institutions and capacity, the greedy politicians have instead diverted the funding to the top-heavy behemoth of government structure and personal emoluments; now that elections are a year away, they'll come to us with promises of what they will do if placed in positions of power, as if the past 4 years didn't count.

I might not necessarily be a fan of Donald Trump, but I certainly embrace one of his policies: refusing to send money overseas to foreign countries while there are pertinent issues that need to be funded within the USA. All the donor aid has made us lazy. How can we even claim to be sovereign if we have to factor the handouts from benevolent donors into the running of our country? In a country where we're forced to part with 30% of our earnings, it is not illogical to ask for some fiscal responsibility and maturity from those tasked with leading us.

And for goodness sake, we need to develop a semblance of a sense of shame. I've previously written about my South Korean friend (Park) and his sentiments about his country's current rise to prominence. There is a salient sense of shame about their humble beginnings and their treatment at the hands of Japan; that, in addition to a great work ethic keeps them striving onward. We need to be ashamed enough to keep these celebrities from doing things that we can address ourselves.

This is not middle-class me claiming that their money isn't needed; rather, I believe we have it within our own power to fix these things ourselves.

And in case anyone thought I've never been on a poverty tour, guess again. Yep, Messiah College times again. It was Spring 2003, and my crazy and loveable lecturer - Dr. Christian Van Gorder - took us to Washington DC. Part of that trip involved a drive in a tour bus through Anacostia (look it up!). In most likelihood, if I'd known about the itinerary beforehand, I might've given that trip a pass. Nothing of note happened, though, besides having our bus pelted by some kids who decided to toss eggs from their balconies! Sure it may have been a bad neighbourhood ("Training Day" bad!), but driving through it without any real interaction left no real impression on me.

I get it! Even the mighty US has some patches of roughness scattered in among the prosperity...that's basically every country that ever existed. I have no illusions about this world and the hard work needed, but set against a foundation of meticulate planning and funding, we can nip a lot of these poverty issues in the bud.

Have a blessed day.

Memories: Messiah Chapel + poverty tour

I've got to admit that the highlight of my week was running into an old friend of mine from Wenzhou Medical College (or "University" for you young turks). Mrin - now known as 'Maureen' since some Kenyans can't pronounce her name right - happens to be volunteering in Kenya right now, a long way off from her native South Africa. Even stranger still, she's practically staying 2 kilometres from the hospital where I work.

I met up with her earlier this week, and it was great catching up. Lord knows there's some things that only a fellow doctor can relate to. In addition, one of the other things we ended up talking about is the 'poverty tours' that people are running around town, and how one of her colleagues wanted to attend one. Now, Kibera, Kenya's premier slum - the largest urban slum in all of Africa - is typically a fan favourite spot for such activities. As she puts it, and I 100% concur, poverty tours are a wholly unAfrican thing.

Seriously, every country has some sort of area 'over the tracks' that is understood to be low income or a rough neighbourhood. We all know they exist, and for the most part steer clear of them. For other people, these are opportunities for service, and God Bless their hearts, they settle into those areas and interact with the locals and bring meaningful change. Then there's a third group - people who are essentially just gawkers. They just want to look and see, providing nothing meaningful in the end, except money for the unscrupulous folk who take it upon themselves to hawk this 'poverty porn'. Perhaps, that's a bit harsh...the tourists provide a job opportunity for some folk (keeping them gainfully employed); but this topic is a bit loaded, considering that the same tourists wouldn't do the same thing in their own countries. NIMBY (Not In My BackYard) seems to be their favoured approach.

It reminded me of an event which happened while I was at college, circa the early 2000s. So, I was down at Messiah College, down in Central PA, and one tradition of the Christian college is chapel attendance; with a required total of 24 chapels attended by semester's end, or the option of facing dire consequences. So there I was in chapel, one early Tuesday morning. On this particular day, can't be sure if the theme of the chapel was 'mission work' or 'show & tell', but I remember a student walked onstage and began to talk about how he spent his summer. He had come to Kenya, and spent practically all his time in Kibera. He detailed the squalid conditions, cited the erroneous statistic that millions of folk are squeezed into that slum (made it seem like he interacted with a sizeable number of them), and of course he broke down onstage. If that wasn't enough, he had written a song, for which he specifically dragged his guitar onstage, and decided to belt out for our consumption.

I remember that a bunch of the international students and missionary kids were clustered at one side of the chapel, and we pretty much had the same look on our faces: Disbelief. A couple of thoughts ran through my mind at that juncture:

1. You dragged me out of bed at this ungodly hour to sit through this??

2. Kenya, like all places, is a place of delightful variety and complexity. Who on earth spends their whole summer solely in a slum?

3. As someone meant to serve as an ambassador for people who won't bother to find out anything more about the country, this is the limited view you're bringing?

4. There are parts of your own country (USA) which are steeped in 3rd world poverty - the projects, the Native American reservations, Appalachia - and you choose to highlight those of another country far removed from yours (and comparably less wealthy)?

Personally, it was quite the gut-punch. Having people come over to this country to tour the slums as some sort of safari is gut-wrenching. At the heart of Kibera's problems are complicated socioeconomic forces exacerbated by the gross unemployment in this country; there are the complicated land issues concerned with Kibera, lack of viable low-cost housing solutions, and the slum-lords who make tons of money just doing things business-as-usual; and of course issues of gentrification. These are the kind of problems that an impartial government and political class should band together to solve, but as it stands, only uses for cannon fodder. Therefore, rather than use it as a cheap tearjerker, people need to put in the work to ensure that Kibera and all the mushrooming slums become a thing of the past; so that people don't have to resort to lowering their dignity to have to eke out a living.

Poverty tourism is not only unAfrican, it is quite simply inhuman. NIMBY, and certainly not in yours

Rant done (for today, at least)!

God Bless.

Becoming a godfather

It has officially been a week and two days since I had the pleasure of becoming a godfather to my nephew, Leo. The baptism was a small intimate ceremony held at my elder brother's & his wife's house in the afternoon. 

The little cherub, Leo, is my elder brother - Emile's - firstborn son, and the last of the five Second generation Araos to be born into the family. At a mere 5.5 months, he's a very vocal baby, and quite outdoorsy - he'd rather go on a stroll outside than remain cooped in the house. He happens to be named after both his grandfathers (Leo, being the name of my father, and Kimani, after Nyambura's father).

The process of stewarding this young lad has been kept an all-family affair: Razia, his mother's elder sister, is his godmother, shouldering part of this great responsibility. I don't currently have any children of my own, but being a godparent is about as close as someone can get, without actually having any kids. I look at him, this great big bundle of possibility and potential, and recognize that I am now tasked with steering him towards the ultimate path his Almighty Father chooses for him. I have to be more than just his uncle.

The godparents

Baby Leo, Nyambura (Mum), Emile (Dad)

Father Maina wa Flora, Baby Leo, Nyambura

I recognize that there's a lot of work to be done, but I'm happy that I'm not alone in this task. I have his parents, his godmother, and the help of every individual who showed up to celebrate this beautiful start to his life in the Christian faith. I believe that his paternal grandfather is smiling down upon his namesake, and is just as proud of him as we are.

May God guide this beautiful work to its ultimate fruitful end. 

God Bless.

X-men: Apocalypse Review

I got to watch the lastest instalment of the X-men franchise this past weekend at The Junction (because my procrastination cost me a chance to watch it at The Imax downtown). I must be picking the right times for watching my movies, because the 'free seating' doesn't seem to be limiting my chances of getting great seating.

This chapter starts off with an introduction to Apocalypse (aka En Sabah Nur) during his transferrence/renewal ritual in Ancient Egypt. Suffice it to say, things don't go as planned, so he ends up in stasis until his eventual awakening in the '80s.

Before that, however, we're treated to the roamings of Mystique (going more by 'Raven' in this outing) as a vigilante who helps free and resettle persecuted mutants (enter  Nightcrawler and Angel). We also find Magneto living a new normal life in Poland, with his wife and daughter. Professor X  finally has the school up and running, and Hank McCoy (Beast) is a fellow teacher. Among his students, Jean Grey, Jubilee, and soon a troubled Scott Summers, brought in by his brother, Havok.

Moira MacTaggert unwittingly wakes Apocalypse, and from there all hell breaks loose!

In Days of Future Past type fashion, this movie has a very serious tone. Apocalypse is that archetypical villain who actually wants to see the world burn (cleansed). So he assembles his mythical team of 4 Horseman - Magneto, Storm, Psylocke & Archangel - and sets upon rebuilding the world as per his vision. Like Sebastian Shaw before him, he willingly kill humans with reckless abandon; but he spares most mutants his wrath, even those with whom he finds himself in direct conflict.

Sophie Turner has a very telling line in this movie (albeit it in reference to Star Wars):

"...we all know the third movie's the worst!"

This isn't a bad quality movie, by any means. Magneto has a very deep story arc - even when he does right he can't seem to catch a break. He is an actual villain you can't hate for being a villain...it's as if God means for him to be a villain. I also loved Sophie Turner as Jean Grey. Not only is she feared by humans, but she's also a loner cast aside by her fellow schoolmates at Mutant school. I won't spoil it for you, but, when she's eventually let loose, no one will doubt her full power (a saga that they seem certain to explore in the not so distant future).

Beast, in his Incredible Hulk type incarnation is fine. They definitely improved on that makeup since "First Class". The re-introduced Night Crawler is also a joy. He's portrayed more in Alan Cumming's self aware (comedic) light tone, but as he grows I'd love to see him assume that unstoppable ferocity that we saw at the start of X-Men II.

It is sad, though, that they've decided to buoy this franchise on Jennifer Lawrence's Mystique. She is mostly 'Raven', this time around; justifiably, she's steering clear of the hero worship that arose from the events of DoFP, but casting Mystique in this new light just seems strange. I hope they're preparing her for a true turn of villainy in the next instalment. Sure, people complained about previous outings' Wolverine-centric focus, but I think that was one of Brian Singer's wiser decisions. You could blink-and-miss-it, but Hugh Jackman's cameo (longer than his First Class appearance) is magnificent. You've probably seen iterations of this Weapon X rampage scene in many forms of media, but this one is stunning. It's as close to "Berserker Rage" as they've ever let Wolverine descend. If they eventually plan for an "Old Man Logan" movie, this is the kind of Wolverine we need.

I found nothing wrong with the pacing of this movie, because the exposition benefits from the early layering of the story. I think the small roster of mutant characters facing off against Apocalypse - a la X-men III - is a bit disappointing because it leaves you feeling like there's no way in hell that the X-men should be able to win this fight. (Apocalypse's benevolence regarding mutants is certainly stretched to the maximum). Granted, this time around they brought Quiksilver along. This time they upped the ante with his speed, letting him moonwalk and clown around as he literally salvages the X-men. Seemed silly to leave him out of heroics last time, this time they needed him.

I'm interested to see how this new team evolves into the heroes that we know. McAvoy and Fassbender truly are great emotional anchors for this franchise. Wolverine still has a lot to offer this series. However, I'd love to see more levity returned to this series. Sure, it's hard out there for a mutant, but it doesn't mean you can't have fun while you're at it.

I'd give this movie a B+ (technically, this is already a "B" movie), and would recommend you give it a viewing. I'm going to watch it again today with my bro; let's see if any magic's waiting to be discovered on the second viewing.

Have a great weekend and God Bless.

Introversion, Medical Practice, Guilt and Penance

Anyone who really knows me knows that I am an introvert by nature. And I've been an introvert since long before it was considered cool or intelligent to be an introvert; I remember that awkward phase where my parents thought it was akin to being anti-social (perhaps in the same way some parents used to actively discourage left-handedness in their kids). However, getting older doesn't fully take the awkwardness away, but it feels good coming into one's own, and especially because I finally gained the words to describe myself - Introvert, Melancholic. Eventually, even parents start to understand their own child's quirkiness, so I now have this beautiful statement that defines me:

"....There is wisdom in your silence...Open up..."

This is actually a compounded statement: first part is from what my mother wrote in a birthday card sometime in my early teens; the second is the last set of words my father said to me. So introversion is my gift, and it's also my burden.

Medical practice, on the other hand, is another part of my world. Medicine, and Science in general, fascinated me from early on in my childhood. I was a bit sickly in my childhood, thus I had more interactions with clinicians than your average kid. Those interactions were a real eye-opener because I became familiar with clinicians' "bedside manners"; hence, I run across people I'd love to emulate, and people I'd rather steer clear off (...and that process has never ended).

A third part of this whole equation is my Christian faith. In detail, particularly, I am Roman Catholic. I've been associated with multiple branches of the faith (some more palatable than others), but I always find myself gravitating towards Catholicism. I love the ritual, the sombre ceremony, its stoic nature, its innate silence and room for meditation, and that it's grounded in a long history of tradition. As my temperament goes, Catholicism is the perfect fit. And, like it or not, I bear my personal guilt like a longsuffering Catholic, so it helps that the rite of Penance is there to help set me straight.

All these things collided when I was doing my medical internship. Medical school teaches you a lot of things (allbeit 'book knowledge'), but there are many areas where you are left to adapt on your own. I could write a whole blog entry on "the things that medical school won't teach you" (probably will in future), but off the top of my head here are a few:

1. It can't teach you how to be a 'good' doctor.
2. It won't prepare you to deal with death, nor will it teach you how to break the bad news to relatives.
3. You will, at some point, develop a case of "the giggles" when dealing with patients.
4. You will undoubtedly cause the death of one of your patients.
5. The system can be very antagonistic, so you spend more time massaging your superiors' egos at the expense of patient care.
6. You will sacrifice a great deal in caring for your patients that will never be compensated.
7. A patient's return to good health and "Thank you" will melt your heart, and make your day.
8. You will run across a myriad of people on the streets who will be happy to see you...and you won't even remember who they are.
9. People will drop their guard around you, and ask your advice on a host of intimate medical maladies.
10. D.A.M.A aka Discharging (someone) Against Medical Advice will sometimes be an infinitely pleasurable experience.
11. Don't mess with the nurses!
12. The system will fail you on many an occasion.
13. Contrary to common thinking, it is a team effort that helps save lives.

For my current story, the more sombre points apply. During my stressful Gynaecology rotation, I was faced with a sickly mother who had recently delivered a baby. In the wards, she was newly diagnosed with HIV, and was deteriorating. She (and her husband) needed to be counselled so she could be started on treatment, but the counselors didn't show up; she had developed an emergent surgical condition, but the surgical team never showed up when asked to review her.

In context, this experience took place when all our clinical officer interns had left, and we were seriously overwhelmed with work. Regardless, our superiors merely expected us to step up our output, and get the work done. In the end, we lost this patient. There are few things that will ravage your soul more than a preventable death. I can still clearly remember her name till today. I carried the guilt of that experience like a heavy yoke, and it killed me a little on the inside.

How does one cope with the knowledge that they directly/indirectly caused a patient's death? My hospital didn't exactly foster a mentorship atmosphere, where you could turn to your superiors for advice; the hospital did have a psychiatrist on staff, but I never felt like I could talk to her without being branded as someone with a "depressive episode", with a corresponding entry being placed in my file.
When it comes down to death, there really aren't that many people who you can talk to about it apart from other clinicians; sadly, I never felt like I could share this with my fellow colleagues, not even the ones to whom I was closest.

I was only able to confess it to a priest a whole 1 year and 4 months after it all went down. I love the Sacrament of Penance; I know that God forgives me for my sins when I genuinely ask it, but it also helps to hear it spoken out loud. It goes beyond just the mere realization of being forgiven, and it assures me that I'm healing the schism my actions might have caused the community.

I am still sad that I can't fully correct this situation. I can't change the life of that aggrieved husband and his child. I have no idea what this course of events had on their extended family. The only thing I can do is to practise my vocation in such a way that this never plays out again. I will continue to voice my concern at the poor path the medical field is taking in my country, and I will mentor my subordinates so that they do not make the same mistakes; and, if they do make mistakes, I can be there to offer them the comfort and understanding that I once needed so badly.

God Bless.

Captain America: Civil War - Spoiler free review

I'm a bit late to the game due to a fiasco that happened last weekend. This was supposed to be a bonding event for the Arao twin bros, but unfortunately, competing interests forced me to diss my twin (Sorry, Bro!). Anyway, I knew by hook or by crook, I was definitely watching the movie this weekend, especially after my bro let me know he watched it with his wife earlier today; just label it as some much needed R&R from time at the hospital.

Would've preferred watching a 2D version of this movie, but the only theatre showing it in 2D was in Nyali. I'm also a bit sore that post-BvS, both pairs of my 3D glasses have absconded to Burundi in a friend's purse (ahem, Annabelle), so I had to buy another pair. (Bygones).

So the Junction was my choice du jour. Despite them choosing to have us in a free seating arrangement, the theater wasn't too packed, so I got to grab a great seat.

This movie plays out in the same vein as "Winter Soldier", which is a delightful serious tone. The Bucky/Winter Soldier amalgamation is beautifully exposed, allowing us to appreciate his hard path, as well as question how trustworthy he truly is. Captain America goes from strength to strength, and his sense of loyalty continues to evolve. Upon his introduction in "First Avenger", all he wanted to do was serve, protect the ordinary guy from the bullies...as an army man. Events have made him more jaded about authority, and now, more than ever, his moral compass is his true boss.

I don't consider myself a Tony Stark/Iron Man fan, but I must admit this was his best characterization ever: less bravado, more maturity. Gone is the ridiculous PTSD Tony storyline that ruined Iron Man 3 (and Avengers 2), and now we have a Tony with a true motivation behind his guilt, shame and surrender towards authority.

Despite the full gallery of supers in this movie (including Falcon, WarMachine, Black Widow, Hawkeye, Scarlet Witch, Vision, Ant Man, Black Panther & Spiderman), this movie is a well put together tour de force. Thankfully, they get to build on mostly pre-introduced heroes, but in addition they fleshed out the rather scant Scarlet Witch & Vision (who sadly missed out in their Avengers 2 outing), and they built up the new arrivals (Black Panther & Spidey).

The chemistry between the heroes is real, and their interaction generates some great humour: Spidey manages to annoy both his team mates and foes in equal measure, joyless Hawkeye and Bucky make for some welcome dry humour, etc. ...And surprisingly, the issues are real too. Marvel typically shields us from the true cost of the supers' heroics because they keep their footage at the heroes' eye level. This movie shows that something totally different happens at ground level below a raging Hulk (allbeit in the course of protecting you from unfriendly aliens) and then some. Finally, a movie that earns its gravitas without having to look like it was dreamed/inspired by a Nolan.

Even the villain has clear well spelled out motivations. Say what you would about Baron Zemo, but by the end of this movie, you'll appreciate how much collateral damage he is able to create while economizing all his resources. He doesn't best brawn with brawn, but rather chips at cracks in the armour. Truly 'Experience and Patience' can achieve a great many things.

I can't say that this movie switched me from my position on 'TeamCap', but I am a bit more sympathetic towards 'TeamIronMan'. I worried that this outing would suffer from "being too big" (like Avengers 2), but those fears were put too rest. It is well scripted, well paced and elegantly developed. On top of that, it's well shot and the action scenes are beautiful. During my viewing, the theater folk erupted when Bucky reinvented a way to swipe and mount a motorcycle in one swift move. Kudos to the stunt team on this movie: they take home the 6th man award. Everyone really looks good doing their superheroics, and even for those who have to be CG-rendered, they still look real and practical. All the battle royales will impress you to no end. There were moments when the crowd let out peals of joy, especially at the end of the movie. I know it's useless to clap at the end of the movie (no one's there to take a bow), but for the heck of it, there I was, led astray to join in the clapping.

I felt emotionally tied to everyone in this film, invested the way you would be with a good friend. The Russo Brothers definitely earned their money's worth with this movie, and I'm looking forward to what they and their team have in store for us.

This movie will not disappoint. It gets an A+ in my books.

Where I currently find myself

Hi Everyone.

I figured I'd pen something to let you know how things have been going for a while. To tell you the truth, I had a pretty tumultous latter part of 2015. What should have ended in celebration with an end to my medical internship, instead became a momentous disappointment with an extra punitive 18 weeks added to my internship; that's basically one-and-a-half rotations.

Most of my workmates were surprised at the stiff penalty handed out, which led them to question whether I had been implicated in the death of a patient that mandated such a stiff penalty. And the answer to that is a plain No! This just happened to be one of those situations where some Consultants just wanted to make an example of someone.

I admit, punitive weeks have their place in training interns, particular where lessons needs to be taught; however, they lose their efficacy when obvious bias exists in how different interns are treated; when egregious mishaps are just swept under the rug for some people, and others are treated with heavy-handedness for no reason.

There is an appeal system available at the hospital, but every intern learns very quickly that the same board that sat down to hand out punitive measures is the same one that'll listen to your appeal. An appeal to their previous decision thus constitutes an extreme act of belligerence, and will be followed with a steeper reprimand. So the unspoken rule remains:

"Do your time without incident, and leave when you're done."

As one of my colleagues has reminded me on many occasions, "Life isn't fair!" especially out here in the medical field. I was bitter about the whole experience for holding me back, and for the further manner in which they went out of their way to humiliate me further. Eventually, they commuted about 3 weeks from that stiff sentence, and I finished in late October. By that time I was thoroughly demoralized and just took my time finalizing my documents, during which time I gave myself a generous November and December as a holiday. January finally found me finishing off and handing my documents in for licensure.

Despite what I went through during the internship, I figured I would have an easier time as a qualified medical officer; plus, I had already settld down in Kisii, having already lived there for 1.5 years. Figuring that I had a better chance of being placed in a department of my choice if I started working before my posting was definite - basically volunteering - I made plans to return to the hospital's duty roster. However, my Grandmother passed away late in January, so I had to delay that venture till early February.

So I spent my initial stint working in the Internal Medicine department, but got trucked off unceremoniously to Surgical Casualty because of a Departmental crisis. Needless to say, I was waiting for the county to confirm my posting, but that just turned out to be futile. As March rolled in, things just seemed more hopeless.

Premonition?

Therefore, when I couldn't take it any more, I just packed up and moved back home. Some folks at Surgical Casualty wanted me to be reprimanded for the manner in which I left, but then again, how do you reprimand an unpaid volunteer?

That was basically rockbottom. Worst of all, this dillydallying meant that I've had to go 10 months without a pay cheque, so now I'm flat broke. However, some positive things began to happen: I had my interview for a Medical Officer position at PCEA Kikuyu Hospital on Holy Thursday, and shortly afterwards got the position. Once that hurdle was gone, it basically took me a span of 3 days (Friday - Sunday) to travel to Kisii, pack up my whole life of 21 months, and bring it all back home; and, yeah, rest for 1 day, and be ready for work on Tuesday.

I was surprised how things worked out so well. Makes me wish I'd made the decision to leave Kisii much earlier; I stuck by that place when my family tried to convince me to seek things out here in Nairobi. I'm guessing it became my 'comfort zone', caustic and fear-inducing as it may have been. In any case, I can't change what's happened, but I can learn from it, and grow.
With the ghosts of 2015 behind me, I'm now looking forward to brighter days and new beginnings...and infinite possibilities.
God Bless.

Batman v Superman (Light) Spoiler Review

I wasn't expecting to be able to review this movie so early - since I had promised to watch it only once it was out on bootleg DVD - however, due to a strange twist of fate I ended up watching it at the cinemas: a friend (lady, no less) was amped about watching a movie at the the theaters before she left, and strangely, this was her choice. In case you haven't read my Man of Steel review (MoS), let me state that I detested that movie, and do not exactly fancy Director Zack Snyder because he had trashed the previous Superman movie lore, whilst not improving on anything beyond visuals.

Anyway, we watched the movie, and I can basically say that I had seen this mess coming from a mile away. I didn't go into the movie expecting to hate it from the get-go (as my twin bro thinks I did); rather, by projection from MoS and the stylistic choices made then, I anticipated an amplification of all the flaws brought out in that movie because of all the new story arcs and heroes that had to be interwoven this time around.

Let me first talk about the positives. Ben Affleck makes a great Batman; surprisingly, the biggest wildcard about this movie ended up being its saving grace. 'Batfleck' should no longer be considered a term of derision, and honestly the 'Sad Affleck' tidings just need to stop...he saved this movie. The whole Batman arc is the best part of this movie (including the cynical take on Alfred Pennyworth delivered by masterful Jeremy Irons). Unlike Nolan's Batman (beyond Batman Begins), this Batman can actually fight. He is a departure from previous Batman incarnations because this time he maims and kills with abandon. Rather than turn me off the Bat, it made me want to see a new standalone Batman movie so they could show what had driven him off the deep end.

This is also a beautifully shot movie, but this is a Zack Snyder movie so it was obvious that it would be a good-looking movie

The negatives abound, though. The same Superman arc that was so lightly fleshed out last time around is sacrificed even further here. Henry Cavill's Supes is as wooden as ever, his and Lois' relationship has grown by leaps and bounds despite not even being organically developed last time around. Lois is annoyingly inserted into situations (again!) this time that are for the most part irrelevant. Lex Luthor, as irritatingly rendered by Jesse Eisenberg, is the literal nail-in-the-coffin for this movie. People had been expecting a Heath Ledger/Joker-esque turn for this character, but it was not to be; the disappointment hinted at in the trailers only got worse the more this movie dragged along.

But honestly, after what Mr. Snyder put on show for MoS, how could people expect anything else? A lot of people wanted a big punch up from MoS, and that was what they got, but at the expense of any sort of useful character building (the big fight was what they said had been missing from Superman Returns, but that movie had character development laid out in spades). I guess once the crowd got that fight-jonesing out of their systems, this time around they wanted something more fleshed out. With this director, that was never going to happen.

So this movie is just MoS pushed to its logical expansion. Ma Kent is rendered more bitterly than previously imagined before, and the movie confuses itself by imagining it made us believe that it was Pa Kent's dream for Clark to be a superhero. (Clarification: that was Jor El's dream). Since MoS, I always wondered why Clark would ever want to be Supes considering this version of Ma and Pa Kent are so bitter, paranoid and cynical. Apart from Jor El, none of them pushed Clark to explore that Christ-like compassion that is a staple of Supes' comic book lore.

Just like MoS, the plot pacing is terrible, and it is built up so that it climaxes in a big final fight; but, I feel nothing for these characters, and I honestly wouldn't care if they were wiped off the face of the earth (maybe with the exception of Batman). And some of the plot points seem downright belittling. Some examples are required:

1. The Africa Desert incident was just poorly played. Supes probably only killed one person in that whole incident; seems rather superflous to blame him for everyone else who obviously died under a hail of bullets. (Heck, Justice League: Gods and Monsters, did a better job of framing Supes)

2. Lois and the Spear: one moment she's tossing it (understandably, to get it away from Supes). Next moment, she knows it suddenly important because she's serendipitously figured out that it'll hurt Doomsday. Then she gets herself trapped, and Supes somehow figures out where the spear is. Lazy writing par excellence!

3. The Batman v Superman fight also feels kinda avoidable. Once it became an issue of manipulation (and not The Dark Knight Rises Again philosophical clash), Supes could easily have let Batman in on Luthor's scheme. The movie setup gives us no indication that Lex is listening in on their conversation  or has them under any surveillance whatsoever. So, they could've convincingly play-acted if they really needed to convince him, while Supes bought some time to track down his Mum (by her heartbeat, voice, etc). If Zack Snyder still wanted to maintain the illusion of the BvS fight, he could later on suggest to us that Bat and Supes were in cohoots at some point in time (beautiful sleight of hand).

4. The Doomsday fight is a waste. It seems like WonderWoman might've actually had more hand-to-hand combat with that brute than Supes did. And then weaving "The Death of Superman" into this movie just kills it for me. As disposable as they made Doomsday, would've been better if they just fashioned him as Bizarro.

5. Lex Luthor is maniacal for the sake of being maniacal. He hated his Dad, he hates God, he hates Supes...full stop. He magically knows secret identities and family ties! This is a Lex who just wants to watch the world burn and we don't know why. I grew up with Power-hungry Lex, so I can relate to that version of him. This new one is a wholly new creation, but still remains a blank slate due to poor characterization.

6. The Justice League: people keep making the same mistakes that made Blade Trinity & The Amazing Spiderman 2 such terrible movies - focusing so much on spin-offs, that you mess up the movie entirely. Those 2 aforementioned terrible movies ended up killing the franchise, and we all know you can't have a spin-off if the franchise is dead. It's elementary! A few people have criticized the 'email-reveal', but what was sillier to me was the build-up. WonderWoman is basically a footnote in this movie, but they weave her in and out of it because...Lex has a dated photograph of WonderWoman and she wants it back. Lex has this photo ONLINE...what is Diana hoping to do...erase it from the cloud?

Using Man of Steel as a launchpad creates the same mess that the disastrous Iron Man 3 (with its terrible PTSD storyline) introduced into the MCU. DC had better work smart and get a new director for its Justice League ideas. Guillermo del Toro gave up on Justice League: Dark, but I'm sure he'd be game to work on Justice League. Also, they need to ditch the Nolanization. I don't want all my superheroes depressed and super serious. It works for Batman, but it could never work for Superman. And I don't forsee it working for Wonderwoman, or, God forbid, The Flash...only, unless you're doing "The Flashpoint Paradox".


In conclusion, just want to say that the lady with whom I watched this movie loved it. She didn't get all of it, she doesn't know much about the heroes, but she liked it. Which was the same point I made about MoS: had it been a story about another hero, a whole new mythos in which I had no prior stake, I would've enjoyed it too. However, this is Superman for goodness sake.

Well, that's my 2 cents for now.
You guys go on and enjoy your movie :)

P.S: Didn't dig the Batsuit. Looks too bulky, plus they've gotten rid of the undies on the outside (MoS style), but heck, they need something to break the dull grey colour scheme. Well, at least they never fully show the costume or focus on it for any long period.

Internship snippet: Obs/Gyne

I was just thinking about how I never really managed to put out anything concerning my working experience during my medical internship during the time I was actually doing the internship (timing issues and not wanting to unceremoniously leak any confidential issues). Well, now, the internship is all but over, save for the issue of winding up and getting some signatures. I have to say that transitioning and finishing up for me has always been a bit of a difficulty. Anyway, I was talking to a friend the other day, and she asked me whether I had actually done any Caesarean sections. At the time, I told her that I had probably performed close to 100 as the primary surgeon; well, as per the official count in the OR log, it currently stands at 124 as the primary surgeon (there have been quite a number where I was the assistant, then there were also nights when I was just too tired to log in some entries).

It really has been quite the experience: Kisii Teaching & Referral Hospital, where I served my time is a really busy centre and referral cases come in aplenty. Nowhere does this sentiment ring truer than within the Obstetrics/Gynaeceology (Obs/Gyne) Department. I can remember nights when I’d hear an ambulance pull up to the hospital, say a prayer hoping that they were bringing in a case for the Surgical Department to deal with, and then rush up to the ambulance to confirm for myself. (Of course, I prayed the opposite prayer when I was doing my surgical rotation). :(

I must admit that Obs/Gyne is a hustle to deal with: due to Kenya's fascination with the Millennium Development Goals (MDGs), maternal-child health is a big deal; however, we embraced the ideals and goals, but have not exactly put in a step-by-step program to achieve them. What this did was create an untenable work environment where the onus for maternal death is put on the hospital (particularly the intern), regardless of the pregnant mothers' antenatal care history. On top of that, the work is tedious; I actually lost weight during my Obs/Gyne rotation.

Personally, I love practising surgery, and there’s no better teacher than lots of hands-on work. I still feel as excited stepping into the surgical theater as I did almost 10 years ago when I first volunteered at the Harrisburg Hospital. Performing surgery is art and science melded into one, a beautiful dance where everything enriches the experience: the anaesthetist with his/her real-time command of the patients condition, your assistants both at the operating table and those in circulation, and recovery; even the cleaners keeping the place nice and orderly are a massive help.

Obs/Gyne is not as varied a field as General Surgery, so there were very few procedures you get to perform; king of them all is the Caesarean Section. At this hospital, it's pretty much regarded as an Intern's procedure, unless there is a particularly extreme degree of difficulty inherent to a specific pregnancy. That is quite a lot of pressure to place on an intern; consider that (according to my friend in Australia) post-graduate students in other countries ONLY assist with the C-sections! The quicker you learn to be confident at performing a C/S, the better; my immediate superiors - the medical officers - were none too fond of being woken up in the middle of the night by an intern to come assist with a C-section. Knowing how to handle things at night with a skeleton crew is key.

All risks considered, a C-section is a pretty safe standard procedure; I have only had one mother succumb on the operating table (and that was because she had severe antepartum bleeding). I can't forget the near misses, though: on one occasion, a mother developed hypotension as soon as the spinal anaesthesia was injected and she just flatlined (breathing and heartbeat stopped cold)! Hence, before progressing to anything else, we basically started by resuscitating the patient; once the patients vitals were restored, we performed one of my faster C-sections. There doesn't seem to be anything written in literature sources, but it is a startling experience dealing with someone who has flatlined in the course of being anaesthetized: they pretty much seem out of their mind, overly emotional, unsettled, which in turn makes you question whether some sort of brain damage occurred. Thankfully, daunting as the experience is, the patient is in good condition when we review them the morning after.

I don't see a future for myself in Obs/Gyne, but I am at least thankful for the experience. Many a prayer were silently prayed over my patients as they lay on that table; prayers when I was starting out and the thought of being in-charge of systematically slicing someone open weighed heavily on my nerves; prayers when difficulties were imminent, and especially when complications arose. Thankfully, the Lord was faithful.

One downside to this whole experience is the sheer number of patients that we get to deal with. The intensity of the experience, at least on my part, meant that I formed deep relationships with mothers who I had to reassure and counsel on the best course of action for themselves and their unborn children. This occurred day in and day out; sadly, I can scarcely remember many of those interactions; it's as if they were wiped clean from my mind as soon as they were formed to make space for more equally intense versions of the same experience with other emergency patients. Or perhaps I'm just bad at remembering my own patients beyond a certain space of time. Thankfully, the patients never forget: Kisii is a small town, so its not unusual for me to bump into a lady on the street, for her to hail me as "daktari", and then remind me that it was I who helped her with a difficult delivery. It's things like that which make working in the medical profession a blessing, much more profound than anything money could ever offer.

I don't exactly know whats slated to come in the near future, nor where exactly I'll be headed be it another part of Kenya or Post-grad school - but I'm hopeful God will push me in the right direction (because I plain stink at transitioning).

Have a great week. God Bless.

Memories: A "Buddy" Pass

Well, a picture really is worth a thousand words. The picture above is actually the conclusion to this whole fiasco after it had come full circle. So let's take a trip down memory lane.


This story starts in November 2003, during my days at Messiah College in Central PA. My elder brother, Nguza, who at that point lived at Daytona Beach, Fl., invited me over to spend the Christmas vacation at his place. He had come across a few Delta Airlines 'Buddy passes', and he sent me one of them so that I could use it to get a deal on a ticket. I'm not exactly sure about the specifics of the deal...but I do remember till today that I only ended up paying $88.00 for a Harrisburg (Pennsylvania) - Orlando (Florida) roundtrip.


Best way I could describe the Buddy Pass is to say that you were basically flying on the cheap, but you were flying 'Standby' the whole time; this meant I had to wait at the counter, get listed as a 'potential' for a specific flight, and hope that the flight either hadn't been overbooked or that everyone didn't make their flight. Oh, there was that one extra added stipulation that I had to be formally dressed...so no jeans and comfort on that trip.


The trip to Florida was for the most part uneventful. My boss, Elick Yeadon, got me to the airport safe and sound (though I remember him having to rush me back home when we pulled over to PNC Bank about 1 mile out from Messiah to get some money; serendipitously, it was then that I realized that I' d forgotten my passport). Apart from that, and maybe being passed over 2 times for a potential flight, I got to Orlando in one piece, and had a great vacation in Daytona.


When it was time to get back home, again I had to depart from the airport at Orlando. However, this time it proved to be quite the hustle to find a set of flights that would get me back to Harrisburg; it was peak season for travel, which basically meant I was stuck. Finally, someone manning the counters told me that instead of hustling to use 2 flights to get to Harrisburg, I had the infinitely easier option of taking 1 flight to New Jersey and after that taking 2 buses to get to Downtown Harrisburg.


I don't tend to hear many positive things about New Jersey, but on that day I felt New Jersey was just the Godsend that I'd been looking for. As soon as I set my sights on that NJ trajectory, everything just seemed to flow perfectly; I got the standby flight immediately, and I was headed back home. Soon as I landed in Jersey, I got the information for my buses. Turned out the first bus would get me to Allentown, PA at about 11pm, and I would have to take my bus to Harrisburg later in the morning. I surmised that I could just spend the night at the bus station.


Allentown, PA was like no other town I'd come across until then (at least nowhere in the continental US). It was only 11pm when the bus rolled into town, but everything was shut down! All businesses, even the bars: the town was dead and lifeless! Oh, as for that bus station where I'd planned to stay the night...well, it was literally just a small one-person ticketing stall set up next to a bus stop where the bus could pull over. I was basically stranded!


But then again, 'when it rains, it pours'. To add insult to injury, it had snowed earlier that night and the temperatures were frigid. So I found myself trudging through the snow with my luggage in tow, formally dressed, but not appropriately layered and stuck in a strange new town at the worst possible time. I remember walking those streets and coming across some homeless guy who looked like he was balled up in a sack and sleeping in the street. The guy was snoring so loudly, so you knew he had to be comfortable. At that point, I even considered sleeping underneath someone's porch if it was all I was gonna get.


At my wits end, I just walked up to a payphone and figured I'd call 9-1-1. I remember thinking I'd better give the police officer (dispatcher) the correct impression about my situation; didn't want him to think I was pranking him and find myself unceremoniously locked up in jail. He understood my predicament, and gave me directions to a nearby 'Halfway' house. (maybe he was new to Allentown and didn't know of any other options...or he knew how dead the place was and gave me the best option).


I got to the halfway house after a short walk, and I rang the bell. The Supervisor showed up and let me in; unfortunately, he couldn't let me sleep in one of the rooms because I had shown up too late. The best thing he could do was to let me sleep in the lobby, and attend to me later in the morning. It was a chilly place, and not the most comfortable of places to sleep, but it was better than my other options. In the morning, I got to eat breakfast with some of the residents, and by 8.30 am I was already down at the ticketing office finalizing my bus ticket. Long story short, I got home safe.


Fast forward to the end of J-Term 2004, at which point we were done with our classes, and some mission trips had been set up by the school. My good friend, Collins Mwangi, and I ended up going on one of the trips together. I don't remember if we had a choice concerning the area we were posted to, but suffice it to say we ended up in Allentown


I don't remember majority of what transpired on that Mission trip, but I do remember helping to stock food products for the Soup kitchen store; I also remember that we were hosted by the kindly Mr. Garcia and his family, who took us out for a basketball game at LeHigh University (...still have the entrance ticket stub till today). And, last but not least, we ended up at the Halfway house...Yes! The same Halfway house where I'd holed up that one eventful night.

To capture the event for posterity, on January 31st 2004, I had Collins take a picture of me seated in the very same lobby chair where I slept that night - the very same picture at the start of this post. So there you have it: finally come full circle. Memories indeed!


God Bless!

Just a snapshot

I've neglected to write anything for quite sometime, and that was mainly because of all the stress that I went through during my stint in the Obstetrics/Gynaecology Department, but I've finally moved on to a slightly less hectic department: Internal Med.


Suffice it to say, the experience did nothing to sway me away from considering a specialty in Surgery. (I've only just managed to get over the episode of PTSD induced by the whole experience.


While I have been neglecting the blog, I managed to finally open a Tumblr account - http://wmu1ah.tumblr.com - and started to do something I should have done 2 years ago: putting the 'Compendium' pictures of the 1st Affiliated Hospital online (similar to the one shown on this post). During my last year at Medical school, a group of us invested hours and hours of our time putting together this massive project that would highlight the new 3,300 bed hospital and, in turn, bring much need attention to our medical school.


Personally, that project is all at once one of my greatest accomplishments and greatest failures. At this point, it's easier to ruminate on the failure, because, honestly, these pictures are coming out 2 years too late; I can't even begin to think of all the other compiled work that is sitting on multiple computers, idle, serving no useful purpose. Whatever the long story behind the whole process, I'm glad that I still have Tumblr to show some semblance of what we hoped to achieve.


My most heartfelt thanks go to all members of Compendium who helped with all the major lifting, particularly Hafiz, our trusty photographer, whose great skill shines through in this particular Tumblr.


Now that I have this bit of work off my chest, I can find another hobby to occupy my mind.


God Bless.

The Music of Pat Metheny - Everyday, I Thank You

I had usually skipped this piece whenever I came across it in my playlist. The long drag from Michael Brecker's sax usually implied to me that this would be a depressing piece (...and this one certainly is long, coming in at a full 13.5 minutes).


Thankfully, one day I just let the shuffle button do its thing in my PMG playlists, and I had a chance to listen to the piece in its entirety. It is by all means exquisite; a ballad perfectly crafted. Starting out with the song's chorus framed by an ethereal pipe synth portion, Michael Brecker paints us an eloquent picture, and in a quickening of pace, Mr. Metheny adds yet more pastels to the song. (Love that rubato!)

If memory serves me right, it was Pat who wrote this song, but from listening to it, it's clear that the good relationship he had with his late friend allowed them to concoct pure magic. Mike Brecker is front-and-centre on this tune, but Pat is never far behind - each of them coming in to accentuate different portions of the song. Every bit of this song just works. If the title of the song is anything to go by, they really expressed their gratitude as sincerely as could possibly be done. And in turn, I thank God, everyday, for this music which conveys sentiments that cannot be described adequately through wording.



 Everyday, Father, I thank you.

Rant: The Registrar of Companies

This is the second time I'm having to deal with the Registrar of Companies at Sheria House, and I cannot claim that the experience is any less painful than the last time. In my previous post, I had mentioned that I already knew the necessary steps required to initiate my business. As usual, the lynch pin was the people manning the counters at Sheria House.


This past Monday, armed with a new name for the business - "Aykornia" or "Aykornium" - I wanted to run the prerequisite name search. Would you believe the Registrar has only one desk dedicated to this process (Counter 1 - File Perusal/Name Preservation); to cap it off, at 10.30am the employee-in-charge of the counter just got up and left, leaving a growing number of us in a queue stranded! And these things aren't complete unless they come in a
trifecta: some of the employees from the other counters who glanced at my desired company name told me that my company name HAD to consist of at least 2 words.


 My complaint concerning these 3 issues remain unchanged from my last post, and I'll put them down here again. First, Counter 1 is redundant and can literally be manned by even a trained high school student who would only be required to receive your application and give you a slip allowing you to pay for the transaction. It would even be more effective to actually digitize the procedure to ease the whole process and decongest the registration hall. These two mere measures would free up the people manning the counter to 'possibly' make themselves useful somewhere else.


And I've said it once,and I'll say it again: some sort of guide needs to be published to assist fledgling entrepreneurs concerning the idiosyncratic rules governing setting up businesses. I am tired of having random clerks randomly chipping in with ad hoc rules that complicate an already complex and infuriating process. I would like to think that any worker worth their salt would strive to improve the processes associated with thir work stations, but it is becoming clear that some of these civil revel in the confusion; others just do not care enough to want to change anything.

 The last time I went to Sheria House, a guard at the gate approached me and basically offered to 'expedite' the process if I basically 'greased his fingers'. The corollary is that if his fingers are 'greased', someone else on the inside is also having their fingers 'greased'. The only other option is to have a lawyer bulldoze through this process for you, and that certainly doesn't come cheap.
So for the clerks, the modus operandi is just frustrate! frustrate! frustrate! the common mwananchi.

 I hear people talk about how easy it is to start a business in Rwanda - a maximum 3 days (even for foreigners) to have the legal documentation in their hands. I compare this to Kenya and think that there's nothing really special involved here. Just Discipline and the ability to understand that allowing business to flourish in Kenya is good for the country as a whole. However, if the current civil servants can't understand that, they need to be sent packing instead of positioning themselves as stumbling blocks in everyone else's path.

That's my 2 cents for today. God help us all (especially if we have to go to the Registrar of Companies offices)

My Fascination with Kickstarter

Aurora

 Since discovering it late last year, I must admit that Kickstarter has evolved to become a major part of my daily internet read. I can't lie, their webpage design endears itself to many allowing for many joyous hours of reading pleasure. Far better than that though is the varied number of stories of mastery of a myriad of crafts, and the great amount of work that goes into crafting each product.


I usually spend my time perusing 3 different categories: Design, Comics and Technology; there are a lot more sections to pick from, but I find myself drawn to these ones in particular. There is truth to the saying, "Necessity is the mother of all invention"; as long as there will be a ton of problems to solve, there will always be forward-thinking innovators who can anticipate solutions to those same problems. The big question is whether they can make any money off those solutions.


One project that was particularly elegant in design was the Muse Clock by Nate Borozinski. True, this is merely a wall mounted clock, but the new spin he took on this idea is an artistic marvel.

 Two more favourites arrive in the form of light bulbs (Plumen 002 and Dome Lamp);

Dome Lamp

Plumen 002

However, my ultimate favourite has to be Palm Republik by Peisy. Malaysia, the country she hails from, produces a lot of the world's Oil Palm, which thus results in a lot of biomass waste. Malaysia, in the same vein, is also researching into various ways of utilizing this waste - and their most promising product is Palm Paper. Peisy took this one step further, building a company around novelty designs made from Palm Paper.


 Just like Palm Republik, I too have the idea of moulding the concepts I laid out in "The Hyacinth Economy" into a business (tentatively titled "The Hyacinth Lab"). Those aspirations will have to be postponed because my current medical internship does not leave me with any spare time to pursue the needed research...but at least the dream is still alive and kicking.


The Comics section is a visual joy because the authors usually leave snippets of their works in progress in form of comic pages, illustrations and synopsis accounts. I've had the beginnings of a graphic novel swirling around in my mind for 2 years now, so with a little inspiration I think I could put pen to paper and come up with quite a delightful read. With a finished story, I could start looking for an illustrator of repute.




But as the aspirations wait, at least I'm being inspired a little more everyday. It's been almost 9 years since I wrote my paper on Hyacinth & Phytoremediation; about 1.5 years ago, I finished my paper of "The Hyacinth Economy", and now I can picture it as a potential full-fledged business. Who knows! Sooner, rather than later, I just might throw my hand in along with the rest of the entrepreneurs; but till that day comes, at least I've got Kickstarter.

 God Bless.

Ode to Rain

Living in Kisii, you have to come to terms with the sheer amount of rain that they experience around here. You can't go more than 4 days without having a serious downpour, and lately it rains everyday: intense rain, the kind that keeps you locked indoors, usually lasting more that an hour; oh, and it rains twice!

 I was simply astounded how we never ended up with any floods around here. Sometimes the place is practically bone-dry in the morning; and worst of all, at my old place we always had water shortages (mind-boggling)!

Rain is a Catch-22 kind of thing: you really suffer if it doesn't rain enough, but, then when your prayers are answered and it finally rains, then you have to scamper away and keep from getting drenched; in addition, if your paths are poorly paved, then you have to deal with lots of mud everywhere; and, if drainage in your area is poor, then you have flooding and stagnating pools of water all around. It's the kind of thing to keep people cursing both in-season and out-of-season.

 There's no getting away from the fact that rain is life; and it's not like human comfort is the gold standard for all things beneficial, but I would love for these two seemingly disparate entities (beneficial water & human enjoyment) to come together for once. I remember as a child that there was no stopping me from running in the rain and playing in puddles. Pretty sure the farmers rejoice too, because it means their crops get to flourish. I feel that most people, however, don't fall into these two classes, but there's still a way to reach out to everyone.

 I am no artist, in any sense of the word,...but I do have artistic sentiments aplenty. My current fixation revolves around giving a practical impression of beauty to each rain storm. Rain is already inherently beautiful, if you have the comfort of watching it from a dry sheltered spot. What I'm aiming for is a monument that can be appreciated at anytime, but which would be specially animated by a rainstorm. It could be something as simple as a statue that becomes a functional fountain in times of rain; or maybe something resembling a turbine, whose blades could be spun by the action of moving water, lending movement to another very visible piece.

 One item I found while leafing though "Street Furniture" by Chris van Uffelen was particularly inspiring: it consisted of two installations by an artist - Stacy Levy - who used a portion of sidewalk art/map to highlight the watershed of the locale. Once it rained, the flowing water accentuated the lakes & rivers, turning the map into a great focal point. These two installations are known as "Water Map" & "Ridge and Valley".

Ridge & Valley (Stacy Levy)

So for now, I have an inkling of a vision in my mind. Maybe someday I can pair up with someone who can bring it to fruition (...technically anyone who reads this). In the meantime, just thanking God for the rain, and hoping for a sprinkling of some of that childhood innocence; the kind that kept me enthralled by the beauty of the rain.


God Bless






Addendum: while going through Stacy Levy's site, I found yet another piece - Arroyo - built around this same rain motif. It's one I would really love to explore with local artists.

On Strike!

As a fledgling Medical Officer intern, barely 2 months into my 1-year internship, I knew it would only be a matter of time before a strike came calling along. Actually the seeds of a strike never are too far away around here. I at least expected the strike would involve this unnecessarily hurried push that the counties are making towards devolving healthcare (practically a whole 2 years ahead of schedule). Kenyan institutions (particularly governmental ones) are not renowned for their efficiency; thus the general consensus is that devoid of proper systems, they just want to gobble up the medical funds (more speculation on that at another point in time).

This current juncture finds me dealing with a problem rooted in the old health system. We have an old tradition here, probably retained from colonial times, whereby you don't get paid for the first 3 months of work. After that, you receive the money for those 3 months in a big lump sum. I'm not exactly fond of this system considering that I was plucked from my usual stomping ground and deposited 6 hours drive away in Kisii, a town which I had barely passed through twice before. Even worse was the fact that I was only given a mere week in which to finalize all formalities, pack up my belongings, find a new house, and to be ready to report for duty. My Medical Superintendent basically told me that there was no way he could give me any more time to sort myself out because he had basically put me on payroll from the moment I showed up.

To tell you the truth, I felt the whole introductory portion could've been handled better, but then I was grateful to at least have a job offer. I didn't want to end up like my friends who had to wait a whole year before they were posted in April of this year. I'm glad my family cushioned my transition with all their encouragement and generous funding, which still continues till today.

However, it feels painful for the government to renege on an agreement like this. The current excuse they're using is that they have to weed out any 'Ghost Workers', so they basically have to show up at all internship centres to do a PHYSICAL head count of the interns. I get some of their logic, but it just boggles my mind that this is the same government that was supposedly elected on a "Digital" platform, yet they are just as inefficient as previous regimes. People might think I'm criticizing for critisicm's sake, but for your information I've had to submit piles of paperwork (going as far back as my primary school leaving certificate), all of which had to be filed with both the County and National Governments. It is unreasonable that I thus have to wait for officials from Nairobi - a whole 6 hours away - to complete their week-long or month-long (whichever) trip around this country to come seek me out.

Any other stories coming up about lateness in releasing funds are even harder to stomach considering the amount of funds wasted on vanity-affairs of our politicians or the fiscal irresponsibility displayed by government coffers. It is worrying that this is how one of the most essential services in the country, catering to the vast number of people unable to buy insurance, is run. They owe the people more than that...they owe the medical fraternity more than that. No professionals spend more hours in the service of the public, exposed to death and the deadliest of diseases on a regular basis, and still come out as under-appreciated.

There is great need to reform the public health system, if only for the simple reason that all citizens - rich or poor - could possibly end up as our patients. People forget that should they become incapacitated and have the misfortune to lose their wallets/purses containing their identification papers, premium health cards, etc., their destination is bound to be the public hospitals. That should be a scary notion for anyone to entertain under the current circumstances; you can't expect frustrated overworked workers to deliver the kind of services you would be proud of, so more needs to be done to relieve what is already a massively stressful job.

I'm not proud of the strike at all, but I'll follow up with it to give my fellow clinicians - who've been at this a whopping 4 months! - the numbers they need to make a painfully obvious point. In 5 days, hopefully this strike will be a thing of past, and I can then get back to my Surgical rotation, which I live for. Until then, I get a little "me-time" for myself. God Bless