Superman (2025): Spoiler Review

I have really been going through a whole set of emotions since watching this movie. It seems like a large majority of people watched and enjoyed this movie (my twin brother included), but I seriously can't relate to any of them. Initially, I thought that perhaps the Codeine + Diphenhydramine syrup that I'd taken to stifle my cough might have impaired my judgment a tad. I was actually thinking of going to watch the movie a 2nd time to see if a 2nd viewing might change my mind, but I decided against it. I figured that I already knew the major beats of the movie and a 2nd watch would be really unnecessary. In fact, I challenged myself to write down the major beats from memory unassisted; I figured if I could do it well enough, then I'd prolly remember the movie well enough to dive into a spoiler review. So this is how that looked. 

• Prologue
• Krypto to the rescue + Healing Scene; Destructive Krypto
• Back to Metropolis (Hammer of Boravia’s return to LexCorp)
• Off to The Daily Planet
• Dinner @ Lois Lane’s + Interview
• Releasing the Kaiju
• Kaiju shenanigans in the morning + Lex and Co. break into the Fortress of Solitude
• Jor-El and Lara outed
• Supes retreats and then returns to the Fortress of Solitude
• Faces off with Lex @ LexCorp
• Has a heart-to-heart with Lois (Solaris|Justice Gang Fight in the background)
• Supes turns himself in in the morning and is sent into the pocket universe (Metamorpho irradiating Supes with Kryptonite)
• Daily Planet: Lois and Co. query Supes' disappearance; Jimmy gets the scoop about the pocket universe
• Lois visits the Justice Gang; gets Mr. Terrific to help
• Mr. Terrific kicks ass, then activates the portal to the pocket universe; sends his T-spheres to look for Supes
• Metamorpho ceases the Kryptonite poisoning; recreates a mini-sun to power up Supes.
• Supes frees Metamorpho’s child, then rescues Krypto
• Fight out of the pocket universe; Mr. Terrific stays to prevent the collapsed portal from being re-activated
• Supes is taken back to the Kents to heal from the radiation poisoning
• Lex reactivates the damaged portal causing the pocket universe to become unstable and “leak out” into the real world (to draw Superman out).
• Invasion of Jharanpur is imminent, but Supes is forced to return to Metropolis
• Attack by the Engineer and Ultraman; Engineer injured and Ultraman revealed to be a Superman clone
• Justice Gang intervenes in Jharanpur
• Krypto to the rescue Part II and Ultraman|Superman fight
• Lex’s private army defeated
• Confrontation at LexCorp
• Supes + Lois reunite
• Supergirl Reveal    

I'd say that pretty much summed up the whole movie. It's not usually my intention to give people a direct blow-for-blow breakdown for what happens in movies, but this situation is kinda special. I've already mentioned in my previous review that this movie should've probably been named "Superman: Year 3". Apparently, at this point, everyone knows how the ol' Superman story goes, so James Gunn decided to do away with the origin story. He wanted this world to feel like it was a fully realized and lived-in world. I feel like his mantra while coming up with this movie was something along the lines of the meme below.

The problems with this movie began from the prologue. James Gunn decides to give us the cliff notes of this universe: 

• Metahumans around for 300 years; 
• Clark has been around for 30 years; 
• Clark has been Superman for 3 years; (most powerful of the metahumans)
• 3 month ago, Supes inserted himself into Boravia's invasion attempt of Jharanpur;
• 30 minutes ago, the Hammer of Boravia came to Metropolis to draw Supes out;
• 3 minutes ago, Supes lost for the first time

From here, we're inserted into the already released clip of Supes pancaking onto the ground, his rescue by Krypto, healing by the Superman bots, and his return to Metropolis for a 2nd short ass-whooping. You've literally watched the first 7 minutes of this movie (sans-Prologue) if you just watched those 3 clips together. My stomach basically churned once I learned that Superman had been defeated. This is not the first time the Man of Steel has been defeated onscreen. I remember him fleeing from Zod and Co. in Superman II, falling to Nuclear Man in Superman IV, being manhandled by Lex and his goons in Superman Returns, etc. I remember connecting with the characters vulnerability at each of those moments, and eventually enjoying Supes being able to power through the challenge, and triumph.

In this movie, the ass-whooping is treated like an afterthought. Superman takes such a beating that it results in broken bones and damaged organs, but all this happens offscreen; that's just another level of insane because how is it that someone who watched the whole movie and someone who watched the clips know the same level of nothing about the ass-whooping. The Superman bots manage to essentially heal him about 80%, and then he just flies away to get summarily whooped all over again. Then we have the opening credits, and Superman shows up all spick and span, and ready for work at the Daily Planet. Supes was until then considered the most powerful metahuman, has already endeared himself to the world by his heroics, but yet we get such a muted response from the whole world when he falls. Mr. Gunn basically commits the same mistake that Zack Snyder did with Man of Steel: the sin of "Tell NOT show." Even the precipitating event of Boravia invading Jharanpur (Part 1) is only alluded to in Superman's interview by Lois Lane. Even the relationship between Lois and Clark - dating for 3 months - is just something that's there. The way it goes down, it honestly felt like Lois was being a "dick" to Superman; she just can't seem to empathize with a being who basically sits above us all, and who is morally and duty bound to help people when the situation calls for it; borders and lines on a map and political platitudes are not barriers to him like they would be for mere mortals. Lois is always portrayed as a hard-hitting reporter and I realize that this was her "Bad Cop" routine, but the scene honestly could've profited from her tempering her approach afterwards to accommodate her boyfriend's very specific conundrum.

Things aren't left to marinate for too long in this movie. A whole lot of conveniences happen which are there merely to set up the next series of events. Something that feels really off in this world is the technology available. Superman's next challenge comes from a Kaiju; Lex's henchmen pretty much release it when it's a 2-footer in the middle of the night, by morning it's grown to 7 feet, and at midday it's several storeys tall. Superman kind of empathizes with the creature, embracing the fact that it too might be alien, and would be better off "housed" in a special setting; however, he has to share this moment of heroics because we get the insertion of the Justice Gang whose response is hit first and ask questions later. Supes subsequent heroics in this scene (rescuing child, woman, squirrel, etc.) end up being in response to the fallout from the Justice Gang taking on the Kaiju. The Justice Gang is brash, callous, and end up executing the Kaiju!

In this 2 hour movie, it feels like James Gunn felt the need to load this thing with so many easter eggs that some things end up being portrayed poorly. I'll just list off a couple of these contrivances:

1. Supes' Kryptonite weakness is already known, but apparently there's none currently available on earth. Thus, they throw in Metamorpho - who's basically having his child held hostage - in lieu of creating Kryptonite
2. Ms. Teschmacher is, apparently, Jimmy Olsen's "love interest". She's pretty much a sleeper agent whose only role is exposition, exposition, exposition.
3. Krypto. He is cute and a ball of mischief. Unlike other interpretations, Clark and Krypto don't have a tight relationship, and he views the dog as a sort of nuisance. Clark lets on that Krypto is not his dog; in the end, Krypto, apart from being a Deus ex Machina, is a "tether" here for the introduction of Supergirl.
4. The collapsed portal, which Lex reactivates ends up setting the stage for a "world ending" event, which draws Superman back to Metropolis; the Justice Gang is also here to intervene in Jharanpur because Supes is held up. (which feels like Supes and the World Engine from MoS). Hawk Girl has the dubious distinction of dropping a president to his death, which can't pose anything good for superheroes from here on out. 
5. Solaris, an existential threat from All Star Superman, is thrown in as a background character whom the Justice Gang fights in the background as Superman sulks about the reveal of his parents' evil plans. 
6. This iteration of Lara and Jor-El are pretty much James Gunn's insertion of his movie "Brightburn" element into this story. MoS elevated Jor-El to the detriment of the Kents, but Gunn goes in the opposite direction demonizing the Els to elevate the Kents.
7. Ultraman is a Superman clone courtesy of Lex who was able to collect hair samples after one of Superman's fights. (kinda like Nuclear man in Superman IV). He's for the most part mute and "slow"; their way of getting past this was incorporating the "video game combo" system that Lex uses to wire him fight commands. I'm guessing this was their incorporation of Bizarro into this universe. (How in Hell do we already have a clone saga this early in this cinematic universe?)

There are just too many irons in the fire, and things aren't given time to marinate. Perhaps they could explain away some of these advancements as the influence of smuggled tech (a la Intergang), which is an element in the animated series, comics, etc. that usually end up involving Apokolips. This movie would actually have been a better fit as a follow-up to Henry Cavill's Man of Steel, not the jump-off point for a brand new Superman. A lot of what happened offscreen could've actually made this movie a whole lot better. Maybe Mr. Gunn can only do team-up movies at this point, which would be detrimental because Superman is a big enough draw to hold up his own movie. Every minute spent on these extra characters was time taken away from the real star of the show. Stashing Supes away for about 20 minutes so that the Justice Gang and Lois & Co. could get their shine just felt like wasted time.

Lastly, I gotta take a pause for the cause to talk about the mischaracterization of the Boravia/Jharanpur conflict. A lot of people are trying to make this a direct Israel|Palestine comparison, but that is more inferred. Conflict between countries have been shown multiple times in comics, animated features and DC movies. Heck, I can still remember that one of the points in Superman IV: The Quest for Peace was the destruction of nuclear weaponry. One scene that comes to mind specifically was the airplane assault scene from Superman Vs. the Elite.

Since the 2 warring nations - Bialya and Pokolistan - were evenly matched militarily, Superman's solution was to disable both their fleets to give negotiation of peace talks a chance. In the Boravia vs. Jharanpur conflict where Boravia is the obvious aggressor with military might basically swung their way by Lex, comic-accurate Superman could ONLY act in one way: even things out by protecting Jharanpur. (comic-accurate Superman wouldn't haze the Boravian president by propping his back against a cactus though!!! Damnit James Gunn, this is Superman: Year 3, NOT amateur hour!!!) If we really wanted to do a deep-dive with real world analysis, you already actually know where a comic-accurate Superman would stand on the Israel-Palestine conflict; there just wouldn't be any other possible choice. 

I wanted to love this movie, I really did; but its moments don't feel "deserved". This is a brand new Superman, and should've been treated as such. I just can't invest myself emotionally in characters that are portrayed as THIS familar without any work being done to flesh them out. This just doesn't feel like my Superman as of yet.